>_< Business Trippin'

So a couple weeks ago, I had the opportunity to embark on another landmark of my professional career: my very first business trip. Just talking about it makes me feel 10 years older, like some kind of successful business man, when in reality I'm just a young scientist learning new things. The experience in itself was pretty gratifying, and the best part was it was ALL EXPENSES PAID! That's right, flight, hotel, food... all on the company. Perhaps I even came at a better time, as there was a meeting of the minds of the higher ups. I'll go through my few days up in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada.

So one of the things I enjoy doing while traveling is getting to completely bum out during the plain ride. If you're going to be sitting in a space for 4+ hours, then you better bum out. This wasn't the case. This was business. So I ended up traveling in a button up and some dress pants, which was more than annoying, but at least I could take off my shoes to let the professionalism breathe.

Smell that business.

So stopovers are a thing. I had one at Chicago, where apparently there's a gigantic bean. Normally I'd be all over the place looking at new stuff and all the duty free items, but since I was traveling with my boss, I pretty much had to contain myself the whole way. We shared some lunch, but all we ever talk about is business. It kind of takes the whole trip part away from it... but after all it's called a business trip. The rest of the plane ride was alright. Smaller plane, but a lot of leg room. My boss left me to upgrade to first class... which I think is a dick move only knowing that I'd probably do the same in his position.

Pictured: Over-exaggeration

While there I began to feel the professionalism seep through my pores. New faces, new facility, and a whole lot of questions. I did what I need to do as my boss attended the meetings and eventually the shift for that day was about to end (we did arrive after lunch anyway). The real fun began afterward, where I got to check into my own hotel room, my own king size bed, my own space. It was a pretty sweet deal, and don't forget -  all free. There was a bar/restaurant downstairs and a gym that I'll eventually take advantage of the next time I go back, and I will NOT forget sneakers.

The time came to meet up with my boss and others for dinner. Apparently this was a pretty big deal. We got to this fancy place, reserved out a back room and at first it was a cocktail hour kind of environment. Everyone had a beer in their hand, and I was reluctant to ask for any - but apparently with this group beer is good. AGAIN - ALL FREE. Everyone started to get comfortable with their drinks, becoming more open to conversation and eventually we all sat down to eat. This place was pretty fancy. We're talking waiter goes around and shoves wine in your face and you can ask for a sample. Do the little swirl thing and sip the wine like I know what I'm doing. Either way, I just went with it.

"Yes, this certainly tastes like wine."

Now the weird thing about this particular company dinner - and probably all the others to come - is that everyone is older than I, and I really wanted to try and deviate from work conversation. Around these folk, however, it's pretty difficult. I ended up only speaking when I was spoken to, and I watched the hockey game in the background I could see from the bar. There were a few people talking about something I could relate to, but much too far away from the table to contribute. Just waiting for my food. Calamari Salad, 14 oz Rib-eye, and some chocolate dessert. I took a photo of it for you:

Surprisingly low in fat.

During the first night in the hotel, I didn't find much to do because of the whole forgot my sneaker issue, so I just decided to relax it all off, plane rides, a days work, and good food. Not much TV going on in Canada, or at least not enough for me to know. Eventually I just did what I normally would do, fall asleep to YouTube videos. One important side note that I ended up learning sooner rather than later is that in the summer, Canada's experiences a sunset around 10 PM and will rise at about 4 AM. Which is insane, because I had to shut the blinds and turn of all the lights to convince my body that it was time for some sleep. I've heard its the opposite in the winter, which basically means I'm not going up there in the winter.

Ah, those summer nights in Canada...

Next day was more or less the same. Did my work, and dinner was located at an older male colleagues request, a fancy Hooters called Earl's. There a group of 4 colleagues began opening up a bit more and we talked less about work and more about not work. The man who chose the location for dinner has a retarded child. He (not the child) enjoys ABC's Once Upon a Time like I do. My female colleague strokes her ego by watching Jeopardy and has commitment issues with her partner. My boss' kids has a real hard ass for a mom, and also enjoys classical music. The last thing I found out is that I'm too young now to relate to some of the things they talk about. Classic movies and actors. Just seems very dated and it's where the fun of talking stopped being fun because I was just out of the loop. Well at least our waitress was attractive. Again - all free.

After dinner and before we were all going to retire to our separate (free) rooms, my boss invited me to the bar later attached to the hotel. We had already been drinking at dinner, but I guess since the bill was picked up by one of our other colleagues, he still had some extra money left to spend on HIS travel card.

"GAH, this one still has money on it!"

I agreed to join him, and was under the assumption that we would talk more about work. We did. Though a part of me was hoping that he would've taken the initiative to talk about something else... or was that supposed to be my job? Did he invite me out in hopes to talk about something else other than work? The dinner we JUST had proved that we don't have much in common anyway... what an evil ploy. I was confused, ordered 2 tall drinks added to my previous drink at dinner. He had 1 and a margarita (I guess that means it WAS supposed to be casual). Either way, he left me with some sound advice, and really made sure I would take care of myself in the future if I ever had to fly this project - or any other endeavor - solo. All in all it was a pretty relaxing, open heart experience. We retired to our rooms and we left for our flight the next morning. What did I learn from all of this business trip experience? My job is giving me much more responsibilities than I originally thought, and my colleagues have a lot of trust in me. Though I guess that's why they hired me in the first place, no?

I have to get me one of those "global entry" passes that my other colleagues have. Since they travel a lot they opted to apply for this option that pretty much let's them pass security. Well... pass it faster. Someone with long hair on top of facial hair doesn't really do too well with the TSA. Especially with the Canadian TSA.

"Yup, definitely American."

All my colleagues took first class on the way back home. Jerks.

ta ta kids

>_< Sandy

Easily the best representation of Hurricane Sandy

I absolutely despise how it's been so long since this topic had to be talked about. I've had some major things to do at work and for now it seems like a good time to lay it all out, shoot the breeze. A strong breeze. Like 120 mph breeze. BOOM! Hurricane Sandy. Sweet transition, I deserve a prize. But for now all I get is more time to type, so let's get going.

My experience with Sandy was a little worse than everyone else around here, but certainly not the worst. I believe there are still people who are suffering the effects, and to them I wish them god speed and also a speedier recovery. So the Sunday before Sandy, I didn't even know there was a Hurricane coming. If it was anything like Irene (that two-timing bitch), I had already put little to no concern on the aftermath. I know that Irene beat up a lot of people, but for me I wasn't affected so much so I guess Sandy took the time to adjust karma levels. I was actually working the very last shift I would ever have at CVS. Your basic 9-5, and I stayed an extra hour because of all the hurricane hustle and bustle, and also the new Pharmacist was still getting used to the flow of the store. 6 o'clock came running along and you could see the skies getting dark and the wind picking up. I had realized there was in fact a hurricane coming. Still scoffed at how weak it was though (this might have been my demise). Driving down the parkway, it was darker than usual at the time of day so I picked up speed, got home, and snuggled up nicely in my bed. Since Irene gave a double dose of paranoia to the east coast, classes and work had already been cancelled. I slept soundly that night knowing I could sleep in, and only woke up a couple times to the sound of strong (but not that strong) wind.

Monday morning came and power still here. I took a look outside my bedroom window and everything seemed to be ok. Lots of leaves on the ground, the weak lawn ornaments were knocked down. Still had power. It was great. By then I was also under the impression that Sandy would roll on through Sunday and Monday. Didn't know it would kind of peak into Tuesday as well. With that in mind I made some preparations to potentially be off another day and just RELAXED my butt off. I was in the middle of playing Kirby with my sister when it happened. The flicker, the dimming lights. BOOM. It had begun. My life in darkness.

Pictured: DARKNESS

It was about 1 PM when the lights went. I still had the rest of the natural sunlight before nightfall. The family gathered the flashlights and candles, I readied the blankets. Power saving options were made for phones, iPads, and hand held video games. It was like planning for war. I recall having a big lunch so I could get through dinner. By the time night came, the real tests of courage and wit were initiated. The first night was ok, just your regular average every day night without power. A good nights rest and the power would be back on the next day...

Except it wasn't. Day two was still ok, a haircut earlier in the month didn't allow my hair to get too oily too quickly. There wasn't much movement, so no sweating occurred. Just stayed in bed all day playing our handhelds, dozing off every once in awhile. Getting up to eat was something to get used to, even on day two. Leftovers were eaten cold, and food as prepared with the intent of being served cold. This is where the family started to worry about our situation. I was still under the influence of "we'll get the power back soon," but my family had already started seeing what could and could not be eaten within the next couple days. Without power, no fridge. No fridge, less food - spoiled food. Lucky for us we have a gas stove, so we fried up as much of the meat we could. That was all the cooking that was done for today. We couldn't cook after nightfall.

When the time came, everyone gathered around and lit candles. I decided to start a new file of Ocarina of Time. Being in bed all day meant hours of playing through the night. Actually I believe I just got the first three stones before the whole "staring at light in the dark makes you tired" kind of thing. Day 3 was more or less the same thing. Bed all day, cold food, no shower, playing video games. Luckily for my parents they still had to work so they could escape the prison that was now my own home. What's worse is that phones started to die, and handhelds were soon starting to go also. It was later on that day that I probably realized that we were in this for the long run.

Day four was a relief. After days of no showering, we had come into contact with some family who had no power, but hot water. So sis and I (mom had been showering at work, and dad was too busy working) made it our business to get on over there and take advantage of the situation. Driving there was like driving through a different world. Trees and lines fallen, leaves EVERYWHERE, and really no one in sight. It was like Ichabod Crane and the Great Pumpkin from Charlie Brown had a mud wrestling match while the cast of Angry Beavers filmed using equipment made of wood. Also Whispy Woods was the referee.


 After a well deserved shower by the candle light, we stuck around enjoying the company of other family as the day went away. We indulged in some ramen, card games, and good times. It really leaked the stress out, and made they day go by way faster. By nightfall sis and I were on our way back, to misery... and darkness. By this time we were kind of living on day to day updates about university closings and work closings... day five was kind of the "ok we're probably going to be out the rest of the week type update." That morning we had needed another shower. We certainly weren't going to drive the distance we had yesterday, but we found that our other cousin who lives much closer also had hot water, but no power. So we took it upon ourselves to go there, spend some more time with family. This was a shower by flashlight, which was a good change of pace, and afterwards we got to talking about gas prices.

Apparently, it had gotten to the point where people were so gas hungry, that they had to split getting gas by the license plate you had. Even #'d plates (last number) could only get gas on even numbered days. Same goes for odd. Zero is an even number (don't even know why that was even an issue) and custom plates were considered odd.

Guess that goes without saying.

Luckily for me, I filled up on the Sunday before Sandy, so I was good. My cousin would make the trip down to Pennsylvania with his girlfriend just to avoid the fuss and the wait. Which is a good idea considering everyone around here would probably sell their own child just to get further up in the gas line. So many reports where people would get into fights about gas. This is all just from not having it for a couple of days. I understand gas is necessary for work and getting where you need to be. Imagine if we had gone without food and water. This place would be a mess. Instead of trying to be civilized and ration anything we have out, we have to fight for it like a pack of wild dogs. I digress...

We had saw that a couple of electricians were working on the power line across the street from where my cousin lived. That's always a good sign. I took the liberty to finish up my game of OoT (in record time). After the shower and the welcoming we had gone back to the house where we started throwing away even more stuff. Did the usual night in and when we awoke, we got the call that our cousin got his power back. Celebrations were had. I believe by then it was Friday/Saturday so I spent that night drinking a bit and taking in all my charged electronics and heated rooms and just all around luxury.

I fell asleep after a viewing of The Avengers, and had a warm sofa to sleep into. It was amazing. By then I had learned that work and school were going to be a thing following that Monday. The extra commute didn't bother me so much, at least we had electricity. Things went on as normal, but it soon became bittersweet. When the rest of my family started staying at my cousins, it became a little too crowded and a little too loud. During bedtime especially. BECAUSE OF ALL THE GODDAMN SNORING. Ok yes I am guilty of snoring from time to time, but this was a whole new level of snoring. It was like hearing a Snorlax orgy with Thomas the Tank Engine anally raping Optimus Prime. Barely got any rest that week. I had an arsenal of throw pillows at my side to chuck at the offender if it got too loud.

"Joo betta knock dat shit off  Jamal or u aint gettin dark chocolate tonight."

Our family had waited a total of 10 days to get the power back to our house. By then some of our fish died, our banana trees wilted, all our food gone. Trees were fallen, sidings were blown away. It was worse because there was another storm, a snow storm that hit during the process. Delayed the power even longer. By the time were out of it, there was just a lot to take in, and little time to do so. Eventually everything went back to normal. Some people to this day are still recovering (and this post took me weeks to type up). I wanted to write this out not only to remember the experience but to offer my opinion about something.

You always see commercials for disaster relief donations, and I bet you always think twice about making a donation, and whether you do or don't you'll get a different perspective out of it when you are part of the disaster. I get that my experience wasn't the worst of it by far, but it really gives you a new way to look at situations like this. I have to admit though, as I was listening to the radio I was starting to get annoyed. The station had made it known to everyone that they were going to help with cleanup and things. Donations obviously greatly appreciated. They had asked people to call in and see what they needed - blankets, trash bags, etc. That's all well and dandy and I'm sure they were happy to help. I was ok with everything until one lady called in. Instead of sounding like she was asking for it, it almost seemed like she was demanding it.

"We need blankets, we need bags, we need diapers, we need food - but nothing in cans cuz we ain't got nothing to open it with..." blah blah and more of that. I'm like bitch, you are gonna take what you get and you'll appreciate it. I get that you need help, just be humble about it. You're lucky to even have someone listening, cuz I would drive by your area, look at it, comment about how bad it is, and just move right along.

That'll buff riiiiight out...

We needed to change the windows anyway.. and the door... and the roof.

And well - ... you know this one's your problem.

I'm just saying to appreciate what you have left, and be thankful for what help you're receiving. This hurricane really put that into perspective for me. It was a long strange journey... but it was definitely an experience. It'll show what things you hold as a priority. It'll show how much other people care about you. It'll show life and society for what it really is on the inside - good and bad. Live for the moment, cuz you don't know what's coming your way.

Whatta bitch

ta ta kids

>_< Let's Get Ranty.

So I try to keep this blog fairly informative. It seems like it's going over the humor side of things. This is probably all the hours reading through cracked articles, but none the less sometimes I don't even know why I bother trying to find a good voice for this blog. I mean it IS called Random-osity. So it should have whatever I freaking feel like typing up! AND YOU KNOW WHAT? You're gonna listen.. or read! So for now let's get a little ranty. I promise you will enjoy it.

Let's start with a story. I'm at a friends surprise party. Alcohol was present. Good times were had. No big deal. Early on I found out the host of the party was known for having parents take away keys for those who would take part in the consumption of alcoholic beverages. With this being said I knew the following:

1. I was going to drink.
2. I was going to go home.

No big deal. Pretty easy to follow, yes? So the party happens and the drinks were consumed, and things continue on when it starts getting to be that time where I have to go home. Luckily for me, I was still in the possession of my keys and I was told not to drive home until I "sobered up." Excuse me for one second as I toot my own horn.

Nazis made it look so easy.

I can hold my alcohol. I don't go around bragging about it to everyone though. It's a peeve of mine for people to accuse me of being drunk when I just get a little more social, which is the case when I drink.There have been only a few times in my life where I shouldn't have consumed the necessary amount. Most of the times I wasn't driving, and not even allowed to drive due to being pretty young. It's going to take more that a couple shots of vodka, ~3-4 failed black and blues and a couple bottles of beer to take me down (which is what I had consumed at the party). Let's continue.

I wanted to go home. I had to go home. There were fun and exciting things waiting for me there, and also I had work in the morning. It was only 10ish (the party had started at around 3) and I had already been sober for hours. Of course the host was having none of it. So as I exited the hot tub (oh btw there was a hot tub), I went to change my clothes downstairs and I left. No goodbyes. Just *poof gone. The hosts' parents were out to dinner. So I wasn't going to deal with having permission to leave. The days go by and finally I get a "good talking to" about how I shouldn't have done what I've done and I partially ruined parents trust blah blah blah. Let's start the rant.

You're 19. You can barely get through 2 drinks without being on the floor, without throwing food at someone, without making yourself look like an idiot. Before I continue on, I'll play your hand for a sec. That's what I like to do. So when I was "getting my ass handed" by your soap box lecture I was really seeing it from your perspective and I meant what I said when I stood there, in the drizzle saying "I understand" with an honest - all be it sarcastic - tone of voice. If I were to host a party, top priority is to make sure people have a place to go, and can be safe afterward. That's just being a good host. Whether or not parents are involved is another rant. Either way, I appreciate the concern for my well-being. Let's continue.

I'm 23. An adult, who can clearly take care of himself much better than you do, judging by the bleak future of unemployment this country has set up for you. Stated earlier, I can hold my alcohol. You are in no position to accuse me of being drunk and scold me for being irresponsible. You are not qualified to talk to me like that. I know my limits, I know what I can and can not do. I'm on that Hinduism "my body, my temple" type shit. If I say I'm ok to drive, let me go and let me handle the repercussions myself. I'm not your responsibility after I leave, regardless whether you know or not. Next time you want to scold me for driving around "drunk," take a good look at yourself around the sauce. Trust me, you look terrible.

Actually, this is a pretty accurate representation.

If you were to get anything out of this, I would say yes - it was rude to leave without saying goodbye or without your knowing. If I had to stand there trying to convince the goddess of alcohol and all things responsible to let me go, I would've been late for work. That's a fancy way of saying it'd take all night. Because it would. Because you're terrible. This may just be me also, but I feel that you and I haven't been getting along. I don't know what I did to upset you, but if you've got it out for me then it's probably high time for us to just not be friends anymore, or at least take it out on the court. I've been trying to. LOL

/rant

ta ta kids

>_< Let's Go to Mars

Seriously. Just you and me and our big 'ol neighbor in the night sky that's not the moon or Venus. I hear it's a nice place. Average surface temperature is about 210 Kelvin (that's about -63°C or -81.4°F for you snooty Americans). Gives us a lot of opportunities to cuddle. Since its tilt mirrors the Earths a little bit, then we know that there are going to be some seasons. So we can look forward to warmer temperatures, like a scorching hot -5°C (23°F you snooty American). A year over there is about 2 years here on Earth. So we can definitely spend some quality time together. Vacation spots? Mars has the highest known mountain in our solar system. We can go see it every year! Mars seems like the next best thing to our earth. It's gonna take us 7 months to get there so we're gonna need to bring our best road trip music. We'll prove to the world that there are martians out there, and it's going to be us.

Pictured: Paradise.

I mean just look at all the color. The reds and browns. It's like earth without the greens and blues. And really those colors were just so overrated. Rocks are fun. We can use them to see how far we can throw them, we can do that for years, I guarantee it wouldn't get old. Oh there's one more thing: we'd probably have to live in a dome or something. So what you saw above is probably going to be our view. Scenic, I know. It'd get better at night, with the two moons and all. Also, The atmosphere there is mostly carbon dioxide, so it's best we stay indoors... the indoors we built for ourselves. We'll be the surface pimple on the face of Mars, and you can be damn sure we'll never get popped.

It was either me or you, and I know it wasn't you.

Now that I think about it, we're probably going to have to bring our closest friends, a few doctors and scientists. Actually, we should bring about 1000 upstanding citizens too. It's nice to have people. I get that we we're planning to have this trip just you and me, but let's be honest... we can't take care of ourselves, and we certainly aren't smart enough to sustain anything. Also you can get kind of boring and I could use a fresh face every now and then. If everything goes right, then our little hoard of people will grow to many hoards of people and before you know it, we'll have over populated our precious little people pimple and life will cease to exist on Mars again. People at home will hear about the tragedy and begin to tell tales of our existence to their offspring at which point after centuries of grieving, we'll have the technology in sustainability to try the task again that gives us the balls so we can start all over. Just you and me and our big 'ol neighbor in the night sky that's not the moon or Venus. Seriously.