DON'T SPOIL IT!
So this horse is watching MTV. This is in the 90s where MTV actually had music on it. Anyway, the horse sees a segment on Jimi Hendrix, and decides there and then he wants to become an internationally-acclaimed guitar player (because, as we all know, all horses are left-handed).
So this horse works at this shitty job for a couple of months, earning enough money to buy himself a low-end Strat. He starts playing Hendrix songs in his spare time, trying to recreate the sound he fell in love with. Eventually, he records a few covers and gets on YouTube with them.
Now, this horse thinks he's doing pretty well, and decides to start a band with the other guys from the nearby farm. So he goes up to his friend, that just happens to be a chicken, and tries to get him to be the bass player, as the chicken was a sweet-ass bass player in college. Chicken agrees and decides to bust out his old bass from the attic; they learn the rest of Hendrix's first album.
Now the horse and chicken think they can go pretty far, and decide to ask their friend, that happens to be a cow, if she can play the drums for the band. She agrees, and they all decide to pool their money together to get this awesome fucking set of drums for Cow. So Cow learns the drum parts for all the Hendrix songs, and they reckon they can go really fucking far with this.
But guess the fuck what? They need a fucking singer to complete the set. So Cow goes up to her friend, who knows can sing like a fucking legend, and asks him to join the band. For the purposes of the joke, the singer is a pig. So Pig learns all the parts for Hendrix's first album and they eventually decide to branch off and make a load of different songs.
This horse, as the band frontman, gets the band to go global - they start performing at gigs across Europe, Asia and the Americas, with the help of the farmer himself (who was slightly bemused at his animals talking, let alone being a fucking band), and eventually get noticed by none other than Jay Leno himself. Leno invites them to California to perform at his show, which coincided with the kick-off for their cross-US tour.
So the horse, as the frontman, flies over to California first to set up and make sure the gig runs smoothly. Everything's good, and the rest of the band, a week later, board a plane to California as well.
However, the plane ditches into the ocean, sadly killing all the passengers, including the band and the farmer as manager. A couple of days later, Horse hears about this and becomes distraught at the deaths he basically caused.
Horse hits a full-on depression, and decides to kill himself so as to be reunited with his friends. He roams the seedy back-alleys of California, trying to find the shittiest club so as to drown his troubles away. Eventually, he finds one, takes 15 Ketamine pills and walks in. He orders the most alcoholic thing the club can offer, and sits in a corner of the bar, waiting for Death.
The owner of the club sees this obviously distraught horse, and walks over to him to try and help.
"Hey," he says, "why the long face?"
