Interesting topic. It's also an interesting time to be writing, but hey, new year new me, right? I've thought about a topic like this before, whether or not I'm the asshole everyone thinks I am and if my friendlier actions not shine enough. Let's discuss and as always, we'll see where it goes.
I spend a lot of my time playing volleyball, and that's really no surprise. Playing in high school I was beginning to learn the game and learn where I was in my skill tree. I was good, not the best. It peaked around my early years in college, although still not quite enough do make an impact since non-asians can get quite tall. So I became smarter - which in volleyball is a different type of better. That's kind of where I am today, slowly finding a balance between power and wisdom. How does this all tie in to my friendliness? I play with a group of individuals that suits my balance for power and wisdom. Some of those individuals just happen to be assholes. And really there needs to be a different word for it because some of these people are the best I know. Either way, it's the type of asshole that is always mean whether you like it or not and it'd be up to you whether or not to take it seriously. That's where I am when I play volleyball or happen to be hanging out with that group of friends. Now because they are a pretty big part of my life - this is usually who you might probably see everyday. Heck, I just might not be nice at all and the rest of this post will be me in denial trying to find some friendly qualities.
So as of right now - I would not show friendliness. On the volleyball court I would try my best to make a psychological impact on the other team instead of boosting my own team's morale (although killing two birds with one stone is pretty nice sometimes). So it's like, yea I'm winning the game, but losing at life because I'm being such a dick about it.
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| Sums it up pretty well. |
FLASHBACK/TRIVIA NOTE: In order to get "popular" in middle school I tried so hard to be who I wasn't... succeeded. I'm not entirely sure if I regret that decision or not. Future blog post?
So where does that leave the friendliness? I guess that might be found outside of my volleyball and volleyball related life (although some acts of kindness may find themselves sprinkled in there). Between my family, my job, my day to day life under no ones watchful eye I would honestly consider myself a friendly person. It may be hard to believe, but I believe it and that's all that matters. Be aware that there's a difference between friendly and nice. I'm not gonna go through it. Just know there is one. I may not look approachable, but I am - and I've been working on approaching people myself.
HORN TOOT: Did you know I held and shared an umbrella for an older woman/co-worker walking to the entrance to our building? Apparently she told my office mate about it and she told me it was an unexpectedly nice thing and caught her by surprise coming from a younger person.
I don't want to sound arrogant. I already spent most of this post admitting how much of an asshole I am/can be. That's really only my DEEP outer layer, the layer everyone can see, the layer that is exposed the most because of the people I hang out with and the things I do. But don't be surprised if I pick up the check, give you a ride home, or generally just take one for the team. A friendly person exists somewhere in this damaged soul, and there's enough light for it to shine every once in awhile.
ta ta kids
