>_< The Green Monster Cometh

and of course i speak of JEALOUSY kiddies. let's take a look at what makes this emotion so hard to live with - but at the same time - can't live without (in the relationship perspective)

Jealousy can show up in your life about anything: other people's things, success, beauty, money, athletic prowess, relationship, kids, or their education. Jealousy can be a small twinge in your stomach that nags at you every now and then or it can be an all-encompassing feeling that over-shadows everything in your relationship and destroys your life. In its extreme, it can lead to separation, divorce and certainly a breakup. Don't get scared but it's the leading cause of spousal murder worldwide.

This emotion can put even the strongest people in a nose dive into depression and insanity. In a relationship: Their mail is torn open, their computers hacked, their activities monitored, their motives interrogated, their integrity impugned, their worth denigrated, their friends banished. The worst kind of feeling to witness engulf a human being.

What's happeneing in the brain though? Neuroscientists have found that jealous emotions excite the amygdala and hypothalamus, brain structures linked with both sexual and aggressive behavior. Jealousy also stimulates the posterior superior temporal sulcus, which activates when an individual tries to discern the intentions of others or perceives that social norms are being violated. Even merely imagining our partner in the arms of a rival causes substantial physiological distress – a heart that races, electrodermal activity skyrocketing with a profusion of sweat, and muscular tension.

STATISTICS:
-93% of American men and 82% of women said they had been the recipient of someone else’s attentions while in a romantic relationship.

-87% of men and 88% of women believed that, they had been the victim of love thieves.

(Many of these thieves were successful; 53% of men and 41% of women reported having had a romantic partner lured away by a rival.)

If we can take pills that help stop depression, why can't we take pills to stop jealousy? Taking a pill to eliminate jealousy would rally reduce personal pain, violence and murder triggered by lovers’ triangles. But it also would make us less aware of threats to our romantic relationships. It might dampen our sex drive. And by depriving usf the strength of our emotional bonds, it might lead us to conclude that we and our partners lack the love we so desperately desire.

In Conclusion. Jealousy is a terrible thing. But at times you can't control it. At the same time however it helps us test how strong the relationships we have are. If it can get through it, then you know something worth keeping is around.

ta ta kids

>_< Stress Stinks

but what works? As a college student, the stress you come across weekly -nay- DAILY can be quite cumbersome. So how should one deal? Or do you just let the insanity take over? In the harsh world of good grades, popularity, and the undying need to achieve that perfection, defeating the monster we call stress is nothing short of a necessity.

So here they are, my tips to being stress free.

Number 1: Music.

Nothing gets me relaxed like a good playlist on my iTunes or iPod. Put those headphones on, take a step back on the situation and listen to a couple songs. Writing a last minute paper? Play a couple songs, then let the playlist run and that paper will be done in no time. Of course it also takes a little effort on your part. music helps to focus.

Hearing music allows you to enter a different world. Especially if you're a music enthusiast - you know - listen to music for more than just the tune. The words, the message. All that good stuff. Get yourself some noise cancelling headphones, when you really want to enter a different world, you don't want to invite anyone else.

Number 2: Lonliness? (and a nap)

It may not work for you, but it really works for me. Sometimes when I'm stressed out, I enjoy a some good alone time with myself. And going back to the music thing, sitting there with my eyes closed and music blaring is just fine. Though listening with your eyes closed could lead to napping. Which in some given situations can be better and worse. Obviously don't try and fall asleep when you've got some last minute things to do.

The thing about lonliness is it gives you a chance to take a look at yourself, and not just everything that's troubling you. Try and think of something else for a while, and revisit your situation with less distraught. It helps. At least for me.

Number 3: Volleyball (or insert sport here)

Let's face it. For me, nothing gets me stressfree like a good kill on a volleyball. Hearing that ball bounce to the floor, and the echo of the contact resonate in my ears.... so incredibly relaxing. Playing with a team and working together, watching a team run and organize some goodplays, really takes me away.

And it may not be volleyball for you, but if you enjoy a sport enough my kill on a volleyball may be analagous to hitting a baseball, bowling a strike, serving an ace, hearing that swish on a basketball shot. Doing something that makes you happy, as long as you have the time is a great way to relieve stress.

In Conclusion: Theres probably a lot more things I can think of for curing stress but these are really the ones that stick out. They all really have some major ideas in common: take a step back and do something that makes you happy to forget about the situation. Then revist it with a more positive attitude, instead of being so HIV negative.

ta ta kids

>_< Endless Love

I'm sure I'm probably not the right person to be answering this question, although I'm sure it'd be interesting if the few of you who read my blog knows whats going on in my head specifically about this topic.

and so i pose the question: How do you make love stay?

Simple really. /sarcasm

I'm not gonna give you some fairy tale answer. Trust your heart and each other mumbo jumbo. You don't deserve that cuz it's not gonna happen.

For me it's all a matter of keeping said "love" strong. Don't care how you personally do it. For me the song goes a little something like this: try and see each other enough. Now when I mean enough, I don't mean every waking moment. And not necessarily daily either. I can even personally say that if the love is strong enough, seeing each other weekly can keep love strong. It's the days you don't see each other that really make the difference. But remember: If love does not want to stay... it means there is no love. And if there is no love there is simply no way of making him/her stay

So how do you cope? How do you "make up" for the lost day or two? Usually it's not a problem, a good phone call or chat on AIM will do it.

SO what happens when you're put into a position when seeing each other daily or even weekly can't happen? The relationship you once had has turned into something distant. Basically for most young couples, it's the college situation. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for going to the same college and all... just make sure that it's majorly because of you... not the other person. It can be about your significant other a little bit, but don't solely base your college decision on someone you "love."

--> That of course is just in case it doesn't work out, you aren't left in a college you don't want to be in.

If the love wants to stay then, than love can stay. I used to think absence makes the heart grow fonder. What happens when its more than just absence. What's a more non-existent than absence?

Talking on the phone, AIM, even skype is great. But for how long? Who are you in a relationship with? Your phone/computer/webcam? I personally can take only so much of this nonsense. Everyday you can say I miss you, I want to kiss you, I want to hug you... I don't really think thats a good idea. Because you're reminded that you can't do anything about what you say. I'm not gonna make out with my phone and -although sometimes i do do it- hug my computer? Enough is enough and somewhere you have to draw the line.

What's the point of keeping a relationship if you can't see each other to keep it strong? I know some of you out there can do it. You long distance lovers. I'm jealous that you can keep that phone call relationship strong. When you one day meet each other, I really hope it turns out great.

I used to be that strong. But it takes a toll to your heart when it gets too long. I have wants and needs. I have to see you. I want to see you. But if it can't happen, what's the point.

Of course I'm talking generally here people. Although, some of my thougths and ideas are based on my own personal events. Please don't be so quick to agree with me because I know some of you out there can handle the harsh lifestyle of a phone call relationship.

In conclusion. If you want love to stay, it's up to you to make it stay. For me, it's the almost constant presence of the person you love to keep love strong. They need to be there enough physically for love to stay. I don't want a phone-shaped, computer-computer shaped, stupid webcam low quality picture version of you. I want you here. In front of my face. Where I can touch you, feel you, and hear you loud and clear. Love can only take so many dropped calls and laggy internet.

ta ta kids

>_< A (Very) Brief Look Into the Past

It's no surprise that once junior year of high school rolls along, we as teenagers start to miss what life used to be like when we were little tykes. Let's face it, the life we once led - before we knew touching ourselves felt good and made stuff come out of us - was probably one of the better years of our lives.

And with that in mind, a question comes to mind... "What three things do you miss from your younger years?"

OH GEEZ? Just three? That's not fair at all... but if I must choose...

1. Being Carefree
I bet this is probably on a lot of people's list. I forget when exactly I started missing this. Maybe around my freshman year of high school. But as my life flew on by it made me think that I probably should have lived my life with a little more excitement. Of course maybe during my yesteryears I was probably having a blast. Its just... this whole thing our parents call "the future" (or rather OUR future) never mattered until we as up coming teens could learn to understand the concept.
I want to go to school and learn, but not have homework. I WANT NAP TIME BACK. RECESS? YES PLEASE ^^. I miss the computer games - Number Munchers, Dr. Quandry, Treasure Mountain, Oregon Trail - all of it. Without worrying about what college I'm applying to and without wondering what my annual salary should be in order to maintain a happy and somewhat stable family.
I want someone to ask me "What do you want to be when you grow up?" and I want to say "A Neurologist" (true story I swear) and have everyone in the room laugh at my naivety. I'll look at them with a confused look on my face and move on with my life.
I want someone to hold my hand and guide me through th rest of my life. Because I'm sure as hell I can't do it by myself yet.

2. The Individuality and lack of judgment.
When all of us were young... and unless you were living in some kind of nutcase family. Who you hung out with wasn't a big deal - to you or to them. It was magical. You're taken to a your local towns park. Sure there were different type of people there... one kid had really yellow hair you've never seen before. The kid next to him looked darker than you. The kid next to him looked exactly like you but with smaller eyes. The kid next to THAT was wearing a friggin sombrero. All of you looked at each other the same way and still you could sit down right next to them and have the best time of your life.
It's not like that now. Sometimes it is. But everyone knows it isn't. And it's not just them... it's me. When you learn to understand things called stereotypes and racism... you can't help but judge the people you want to sit down with. Sad truth. It really is. But if you can show me that you can break the barriers of your own stereotype, then by all means sit next to me. The seat's been open for awhile now...

3. Cheap Gas and a good Economy
Oh what, you thought I was going to be deep the whole way through? This one even though it's not so "deep" is still very much true. Who remembers the days of 99 cent gas? I remember my parents being outraged for having to pay 1.50 for gas. Now 1.50 is so far away. And it sounds incredible right now. I think in the past a lot of people were happier... but now it seems like we're all in such turmoil and running around with our heads chopped off because we're in desperate need for money.
We need to get back to the way we used to be. And I sure as hell know that it'll take more than and old guy or a black guy as our President to fix the shithole our countries been going down. So kudos to whoever wins, but I know neither of you have the balls to put this country back on track. But go ahead prove me wrong. I'll wait for whoever takes your throne next.

In Conclusion: Life as a lot easier when you didn't understand the complexity of things.

ta ta kids

>_< WORDS VS. ACTIONS

What do you think is more powerful? Actions or words?

Lets take a look at some opinions before i give my own -- and these will remain anonymous.

_____________________________
"I believe words can be actions"

"Actions! It shows your thoughts and efforts, words is just way too easy for anyone to say. People can be yapping on and on about how much they love you, cares for you, but really... words are just there to 'support' it."

"Words are more powerful. Actions leave marks that fade and go away but words stick with you forever."
_____________________________

All very decent opinions and I can honestly say I could go both ways. It definitely depends on the situation: whether it affects your life at that moment or if it affects your life for a long time. But then again, actions and words can both be longterm and short term. I suppose I'll state my opinion for both... then maybe I'll come to a conclusion by the end of the blog.

Let's start with words. Words, as many of my English professors say, are the most powerful tools in a humans arsenal. Take for example The Catcher and the Rye. A majority of the book deals with Holden's struggle to get people to listen to him, and it shows through the characters he interacts with. When he was in the room with the prostitute? He didn't want to have meaningless sex, he wanted to talk to her. Even towards the end as it becomes clear that Holden is telling the his story to a shrink, even the shrink doesn't listen. The power of words shines through the fact that this novel has become one of the greatest novels ever written (and my personal favorite) as we as humans are finally the only people who listen to him, and relate to his struggle. In that sense words are much stronger than actions.

Words to me can do a lot of long term damage. We as humans can be affected greatly by something in a book, or what our parents say to us when we are children. Words are affective in a sense that we have more time to think about what to write and publish before we do anything we can possibly regret in the future.

Of course words in my opinion are words that are written down. The quote at the beginning states that words can be actions. Which is completely true. Spoken words are definitely actions. Which is also part of the reason why this topic brings so much debate. But lets move on to actions anyway.

Actions are the best way to support your words. You don't want to say you're not a racist in a blog and get caught saying a racial slur. Actions are a great way to prove to other people that you mean business. In that sense actions can be better than words, they're quicker to present to people and downsides include actions you didn't really mean to do.

Like the quote above, you can say that you love someone. But you'll never get them to believe it unless you do something that shows your love. In this case actions are more powerful than words. Again in goes back to the whole "in a given situation thing."

Being a minor pacifist, I would definitely prefer words. If someone makes me angry, I'm not going to go punch them in the face... I'm gonna blog about it on my xanga. That's the way i deal with my problems, and so far so good.

IN CONCLUSION. Actions and words are best when they're combined together. It helps to say/write what you think, but no one will ever believe you unless you step up and show them. Actions can't be better than words, and vice versa. It takes a harmony of both to truly make a point.

ta ta kids

>_< A QUOTE

"The difference between dogs and people is that dogs know how to be dogs." - Sociologist Peter Berger.

Of course there by stating that people don't know how to be people. And this quote I happen to think is both wise and true. Peter Burger was the sociologist most well known for his discussions that relate society to the individual. I was already interested in the role society plays on an individual; pertaining to how people act and why they act like the way they do. It was always interesting to see how people developed based on their lifestyles, music choices, and role models.

Many believe, that people are they way they are by the way they were raised. Of course this doesn't apply to everyone. I believe it applies to a fair amount. A common stereo type to those who were raised "poorly" are those who are rebellious, uncaring, very harsh in personality. The reason why is that at an early age, this child who seems to have already broken the bonds he/she has with her parents will already have given up on relying on their help. Then you have those who are put in this situation, but tend to stand up stronger and allow themselves to be successful through hard work and dedication. Though these people come in scarce amounts, i applaud them for what they do and how they do it.

It happens to good eggs too. Some are very polite, intelligent, respectful. And there are those that just don't give a damn.

The previous situation, however, is only related to the individual. This is why i don't thoroughly believe that people are the way they are because of the previous situation. Most likely, society had to have stepped in and molded the human being. You have about 6 billion people, and within that 6 billion, lies an infinite amount of personality. You got jocks, blondes, gangstas, mexicans, asians, nerds. Which clearly supports the fact that we just don't know how to be people. So I ask, how does one act like a person? With so many different personalities out there, who is the one whose doing it right? Our minds and thoughts have developed so much that we forget just exactly what we're supposed to do.

I've generally come to the consensus that in order to act like a person, you're supposed to observe the people around you... and do the same thing. As a baby, you develop your mind through curiousity. As a toddler and through the rest of your life, you learn by copying other people. You look at this strange thing with liquid in it, turn to the person next to you who has the same thing and watch them as they put it to their mouths, tilt the cup, and drink the liquid inside. You turn on the tv and find a person who wears their hat awkwardly, shirts down to their kness, and pants down to their ankles, and you do the same too... sadly. You listen to what they say and what others say and you begin to talk like them... sadly. And whats worse, you find people who walk and talk exactly like them and you be friends... sadly.

and that my friends is how gangs are formed.

But on a serious note, this probable happens to everyone else in differnt ways, people who watch the hills, people who listen to metal, people who watch cnn or bbc. They'll all turn out differently. Wich gives me an idea... if human kind allows it - i'd like to take like 5 babies and raise them differently and control what they watch, who they hang out with etc. Would they have the power to break away from what they've been influenced by?

Cuz lets face it... when you ask someone do you know how to be a person? They'll probably be like sure i'm doing it now... (prolem with that is that's technically not the same answer for everyone)

sometimes i wish i were a dog... woof woof.

ta ta kids.

>_< KARMA

what is karma? (according to http://www.serve.com/cmtan/buddhism/karma.html)

Karma is one of the most important concepts in Buddhism. Karma is an imprint in one's Mind. When one performs a good deed out of good intentions, the good intentions come from the Mind. Having done that good deed, the residues of these intentions stay in one's Mind as "imprints", and that is "good karma". The opposite goes for evil deeds (or what the Buddha would call "unwholesome deeds") done out of greed, hatred etc.

A person's karma affects a person in 2 ways. The first is his disposition. If a person is an angry one, performing many deeds with anger, his mind will be imprinted with experiences and intentions of anger. Because of this imprint, in a similar situation, he would be more likely to feel angry. In a sense, the imprint creates and reinforces a sort of mental habit that causes a person's mind to react in a certain pre-disposed way.

The second and more important way karma affects a person is by affecting his experience. Our experiences, our feelings of joy or sufferings, come mainly from our reaction to perceptual inputs. Taking our angry guy as an example, in many situations, he feels offended, angry and that seriously affects his state of mind. He often feels the pain of anger, very little peace. But if that person practices meditation, develops his mind, etc etc, such that he develops peace and love. He may live the same life all over and he may not experience the anger or the pain of anger etc in those same situations. In a sense, his karma is one of the main determinants of his experiences. In this sense too, we may say that our sufferings comes from our karma and our states of mind.

in a nutshell, if you do something good you'll get something good in return. do something bad, and you're in for a world of hurt.

__________________________________

so for some reason karma came up in my head, and i started to think how many times the idea has caused me to change some of the decisions i made in my life. not like HUGE decisions, but little minor actions. for example: after dinner i walked over to my sink and placed my dishes in there. and i wanted to walk away without washing them. before i left the kitchen... i turned around and started washing all the dirty dishes in the sink.

now this might not seem like a big deal, but in my head i thought... karma. "you know if i do this, something good will happen in return." and whether that's true or not, its pretty satisfying to look forward to.

now i'm not buddhist or anything, i'm actually roman catholic. and though i'm not the most avid church goer, i still find it exciting to take in some ideas from other cultures that - for me anyway - just makes sense. now the entry says there are two types of karma... the good kind and the bad kind.

i really like the good kind. not only do good deeds leave you feeling oh so SPESHUL on the inside, but it is also potentially rewarding you at another given time. its kind of like a bonus. see in my case, i just washed all the dirty dishes - i feel good, and then maybe the Chinese gymnasts get to keep their well deserved medals. i'll do someone a favor? and maybe Georgia and Russia will enjoy a cup of fish-head soup while watching ballet. the good karma will not only help me, but others as well (even if the other is me again)

realizing that karma must be somewhat easily balanced, i dont imagine washing a coupe dishes will fix something like war or conspiracy. so maybe some little kid out there will find a quarter on the floor `=).

then theres the bad kind. the kind i don't usually think about until after i've done it. and to be honest it does put a spice in my life, but not the good one. bad karma is like... paprika or something. either way it keeps my life in check. lets say i punch a baby in the face. sure i might have been angry and felt justified when it happened, but when i fall down the stairs later that day... i'll know why. and it makes me learn my lesson. i'll never punch a baby in the face again.

basic summary. karma is just a good idea in general. it keeps me alert and makes me think twice about my actions. its part the reason why i'm ish-pacifist. i don't like to fight. i'm not gonna throw punches because i know i'm going to get punished later (and its true - i throw a punch either i lose the fight and get my ass kicked or get my ass thrown in jail or some otehr kind of trouble). just isn't worth it. and so making better decisions makes me a happier person.

what do you think of karma?

ta ta kids