Warm pee musk.
"Hey what's going on?" Has lost its meaning.
Napkin stacking
You're beautiful to cancer patients/disease people
You're a hero to people who served
Warm pee musk
I know I'm alienating a lot of my readers here, but this is something I had observed from time to time, and it bothers me every time it happens. Urinals, man. One of the best things about being a guy is the ability to pee standing up without having that pee dribble down my legs like delicious maple syrup dancing downward a beautiful pile of pancake legs.
But with great urinals, comes great responsibility and we penis wielders have developed a number of unwritten rules based on public bathroom etiquette. This isn't what this is about however (but it could be in a future post?). For just general background purposes, urinals are vertical wall toilets. You pee into the wall and your piss dribbles down into a small pool and you flush it away afterward - though THAT concept is lost for some people. Again, many drawbacks to this system, but it's fast and efficient. This part of the rant is for when you occupy a urinal right after someone uses it. Now this will happen if the person didn't flush at all or the the urinals flushing mechanism is too weak to wash the piss all the way through. So picture this - you approach the urinal and ready your member. Then you feel it. A small pocket of warmer than ambient temperature circulated around your crotch. It's the pee musk. The warm pee musk, I hate it. The warm air begins to rise and you get a quick whiff of what the persons pee smelled like before you. It's a terrible experience and it happens way too often. The worst part is that it can't be helped. You don't know which urinal was JUST used coming in. You have to follow the one stall rule and sometimes the pee musk is forced upon you. You gotta stand there and soak it all in while you do your business, and the mix of your two pee smells is something straight out of a 50 shades of grey limited golden shower edition novel. A bond is created by the previous Number one-er and the pee stars align, For the next 7-15 seconds it's you and the ghost of another mans penis liquid.
This is why after I'm done peeing I'll hang around ;) awhile just to make sure I prevent future piss takers from taking my musk. #peeitforward
"Hey what's going on?" Has lost its meaning.
Let me explain first. Have you ever had an interaction, where you're in a casual environment and you're walking down the hall and you see a person you know or have met before on the other side of the hall. You both are aware of each others presence and the faster you two come towards each other, the faster your brain races to figure out which kid of greeting is appropriate for the upcoming interaction. You're secretly dying for them to say hi first, or maybe you can just get off easy with a smile or nod. So the time has come, you've come within speaking distance and of course there are three options:
I know I'm alienating a lot of my readers here, but this is something I had observed from time to time, and it bothers me every time it happens. Urinals, man. One of the best things about being a guy is the ability to pee standing up without having that pee dribble down my legs like delicious maple syrup dancing downward a beautiful pile of pancake legs.
But with great urinals, comes great responsibility and we penis wielders have developed a number of unwritten rules based on public bathroom etiquette. This isn't what this is about however (but it could be in a future post?). For just general background purposes, urinals are vertical wall toilets. You pee into the wall and your piss dribbles down into a small pool and you flush it away afterward - though THAT concept is lost for some people. Again, many drawbacks to this system, but it's fast and efficient. This part of the rant is for when you occupy a urinal right after someone uses it. Now this will happen if the person didn't flush at all or the the urinals flushing mechanism is too weak to wash the piss all the way through. So picture this - you approach the urinal and ready your member. Then you feel it. A small pocket of warmer than ambient temperature circulated around your crotch. It's the pee musk. The warm pee musk, I hate it. The warm air begins to rise and you get a quick whiff of what the persons pee smelled like before you. It's a terrible experience and it happens way too often. The worst part is that it can't be helped. You don't know which urinal was JUST used coming in. You have to follow the one stall rule and sometimes the pee musk is forced upon you. You gotta stand there and soak it all in while you do your business, and the mix of your two pee smells is something straight out of a 50 shades of grey limited golden shower edition novel. A bond is created by the previous Number one-er and the pee stars align, For the next 7-15 seconds it's you and the ghost of another mans penis liquid.
This is why after I'm done peeing I'll hang around ;) awhile just to make sure I prevent future piss takers from taking my musk. #peeitforward
"Hey what's going on?" Has lost its meaning.
Let me explain first. Have you ever had an interaction, where you're in a casual environment and you're walking down the hall and you see a person you know or have met before on the other side of the hall. You both are aware of each others presence and the faster you two come towards each other, the faster your brain races to figure out which kid of greeting is appropriate for the upcoming interaction. You're secretly dying for them to say hi first, or maybe you can just get off easy with a smile or nod. So the time has come, you've come within speaking distance and of course there are three options:
1) No one says hi by either complete lack of recognition, or a slight form of recognition (a smile or nod) and you move on with your life.
2) You say hi first.
3) They say hi first.
Still with me? Alright, so let's take option 2 and 3 and expand why I'm ranting in the first place. Maybe it's just here at work?. Actually, a majority of this happens in the workplace. I can see it happen at a high school or on campus or something... anyway. Recently when I've been said hi to, or am the one saying hi, I get a the same response, "Hey, how are ya?" or "hey, what's going on?" To which of course I respond, "I'm good/nothing much, you?" And that's that. We continue walking, go our own separate lives, until we meet again.
Anything wrong with that situation to you? No? Well let me clear it up: the person never responded to my damn question! I want to know how they are, just like they asked me how I am. What I don't understand is, why ask? Has this phrase also become so casual that even the question answered need not apply? Are we just walking too fast to make really small talk? It's not that hard to say "I'm fine, thank you" as you walk away. Even if you're not fine. Just straight up lie! But don't leave me hangin' like that! Why ask the question in the first place? It leaves me in a confused state as I walk away, it makes me think the person isn't at all fond of me. Pretty hurtful stuff.
Napkin Stacking
This is a quick one. Who the FUCK thought it would be a great idea to stack napkins the way they are in local fast food napkin dispensers? I hate when sometimes they're over packed and I just end up pulling and ripping a part of it off. I have to repeat this process until the dispenser is loose enough not to give me anymore napkin bits. Sometimes I end up sticking a part of my finger in there and just taking a stack of napkins to bring back - which is fine until you have to deal with the stack that's on your table. Napkins are stacked in an over-under-over-under type way that when you reach for the top napkin, you get a piece of the second napkin because they're folded into each other. So you have to do this awkward "shake the excess off" thing just use you're goddamn napkin. Annoying as hell. Thinking rationally - I get it, it allows more napkins to be packed in and also helps with the whole dispensing thing - pulling out one will leave the next one sticking out cuz you pulled that shit out slightly also.
But fuck if you didn't do such a shitty job with it.
/rant
The other topics are a bit on the serious side so I'll go over them another time.
ta ta lods.
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| Please tell me about your day... please... |
Napkin Stacking
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| You smug little bastard. |
This is a quick one. Who the FUCK thought it would be a great idea to stack napkins the way they are in local fast food napkin dispensers? I hate when sometimes they're over packed and I just end up pulling and ripping a part of it off. I have to repeat this process until the dispenser is loose enough not to give me anymore napkin bits. Sometimes I end up sticking a part of my finger in there and just taking a stack of napkins to bring back - which is fine until you have to deal with the stack that's on your table. Napkins are stacked in an over-under-over-under type way that when you reach for the top napkin, you get a piece of the second napkin because they're folded into each other. So you have to do this awkward "shake the excess off" thing just use you're goddamn napkin. Annoying as hell. Thinking rationally - I get it, it allows more napkins to be packed in and also helps with the whole dispensing thing - pulling out one will leave the next one sticking out cuz you pulled that shit out slightly also.
But fuck if you didn't do such a shitty job with it.
/rant
The other topics are a bit on the serious side so I'll go over them another time.
ta ta lods.
