>_< Let's Get Ranty.

So I try to keep this blog fairly informative. It seems like it's going over the humor side of things. This is probably all the hours reading through cracked articles, but none the less sometimes I don't even know why I bother trying to find a good voice for this blog. I mean it IS called Random-osity. So it should have whatever I freaking feel like typing up! AND YOU KNOW WHAT? You're gonna listen.. or read! So for now let's get a little ranty. I promise you will enjoy it.

Let's start with a story. I'm at a friends surprise party. Alcohol was present. Good times were had. No big deal. Early on I found out the host of the party was known for having parents take away keys for those who would take part in the consumption of alcoholic beverages. With this being said I knew the following:

1. I was going to drink.
2. I was going to go home.

No big deal. Pretty easy to follow, yes? So the party happens and the drinks were consumed, and things continue on when it starts getting to be that time where I have to go home. Luckily for me, I was still in the possession of my keys and I was told not to drive home until I "sobered up." Excuse me for one second as I toot my own horn.

Nazis made it look so easy.

I can hold my alcohol. I don't go around bragging about it to everyone though. It's a peeve of mine for people to accuse me of being drunk when I just get a little more social, which is the case when I drink.There have been only a few times in my life where I shouldn't have consumed the necessary amount. Most of the times I wasn't driving, and not even allowed to drive due to being pretty young. It's going to take more that a couple shots of vodka, ~3-4 failed black and blues and a couple bottles of beer to take me down (which is what I had consumed at the party). Let's continue.

I wanted to go home. I had to go home. There were fun and exciting things waiting for me there, and also I had work in the morning. It was only 10ish (the party had started at around 3) and I had already been sober for hours. Of course the host was having none of it. So as I exited the hot tub (oh btw there was a hot tub), I went to change my clothes downstairs and I left. No goodbyes. Just *poof gone. The hosts' parents were out to dinner. So I wasn't going to deal with having permission to leave. The days go by and finally I get a "good talking to" about how I shouldn't have done what I've done and I partially ruined parents trust blah blah blah. Let's start the rant.

You're 19. You can barely get through 2 drinks without being on the floor, without throwing food at someone, without making yourself look like an idiot. Before I continue on, I'll play your hand for a sec. That's what I like to do. So when I was "getting my ass handed" by your soap box lecture I was really seeing it from your perspective and I meant what I said when I stood there, in the drizzle saying "I understand" with an honest - all be it sarcastic - tone of voice. If I were to host a party, top priority is to make sure people have a place to go, and can be safe afterward. That's just being a good host. Whether or not parents are involved is another rant. Either way, I appreciate the concern for my well-being. Let's continue.

I'm 23. An adult, who can clearly take care of himself much better than you do, judging by the bleak future of unemployment this country has set up for you. Stated earlier, I can hold my alcohol. You are in no position to accuse me of being drunk and scold me for being irresponsible. You are not qualified to talk to me like that. I know my limits, I know what I can and can not do. I'm on that Hinduism "my body, my temple" type shit. If I say I'm ok to drive, let me go and let me handle the repercussions myself. I'm not your responsibility after I leave, regardless whether you know or not. Next time you want to scold me for driving around "drunk," take a good look at yourself around the sauce. Trust me, you look terrible.

Actually, this is a pretty accurate representation.

If you were to get anything out of this, I would say yes - it was rude to leave without saying goodbye or without your knowing. If I had to stand there trying to convince the goddess of alcohol and all things responsible to let me go, I would've been late for work. That's a fancy way of saying it'd take all night. Because it would. Because you're terrible. This may just be me also, but I feel that you and I haven't been getting along. I don't know what I did to upset you, but if you've got it out for me then it's probably high time for us to just not be friends anymore, or at least take it out on the court. I've been trying to. LOL

/rant

ta ta kids

>_< Errday I'm Stumbling

I made myself a nice cup of hot peppermint mocha. I sat down here at my desk and I just... felt the urge to write something. Whether or not it's my subconscious trying to make it seem like I'm actually doing real work is a whole 'nother story. As I sip on through my mocha, all business style, I stumbledUpon some interesting things. I will continue to describe the interesting ones as I go along. Trust me. This will be a good series. Much better than Something to Type About. Without the puns. Ok with the puns... maybe. I just love a good pun.

Pictured: Pun

1. An image that reads: "It's not that I don't believe in love, I'm a very strong believer in it actually, I'm just deathly terrified that it won't believe in me."
• Preaching to the choir kid. Love has always been such a touchy subject for those I feel who have been really hurt by it. Those who have not, aren't moved by quotes like the ones above. They just don't understand. I can't decide whether or not to envy them, or to feel sorry for them. Love and the hurt that comes with it is an experience I feel everyone should have at least once.
2. Khloe Kardashian is going to host X-Factor.
• To be honest there was some other name in there that just doesn't matter because I need a mini rant about the KKK (that's the Kardashians: Kim, Khloe, and Kal'el son of Krypton). I'm not a fan. The fact that their media attention started solely on a sex tape, and continued to grow because society just loves to watch people fail is... impressive. We love to hate them, and people for some reason just love to love them. You have to give them credit, they milk our society bone dry, and in the process have become marketing and media geniuses. Still hate them though. Except Kal-El. He's pretty cool.

  

  So cool.

  
3. StumbleUpon crashed. See? Isn't this exciting?
4. .gif of Honey Boo Boo's mom flailing around.
• The fact that I even know who Honey Boo Boo is now is an absolute travesty to our soceity. We're talking the lowest of the low tier of forced media based entertainment here. I get that they're an interesting family because they're home planet refuses to take them back, but I don't want my children to grow up in a world aspiring to be... well this:




Just look at that snout.


5. Music Playing condoms.
• according to the article, some dudes in Sweden have implanted a mini loudspeaker and motion sensor on the condoms upper cuff. The volume varies based on the intensity of the session. And the sound varies on the emotional intimacy. So if I were to have it, "All by Myself" would be playing on max volume.
6. Man tried to pay $137 expired inspection tickets with origami folded pig dollars in donut boxes.
• The description itself was amusing to type out. Theres a video on YouTube if you'd like to search it, but it ended in the poor guy having to unfold his bills to pay it because it would take too long for the workers to do it themselves.. some "time is money" bs. Let's do a half and half opinion on this bad boy, because I like to do that. On the one hand, what this guy did in a statement to all "pigs" everywhere is pretty ballsy, and awesome. I think there is a real problem with our officers sometimes and they need a good slap in the face. On the other hand, allowing workers trudge along their work for something you FAILED to do is just downright unfair. I'm recalling an incident where one person decided to pay his tow fine in pennies, brought along some lawyer to justify that it's legal tender and they had to take it. I'm not exactly sure how this is different (besides the blatant mockery of officers everywhere) but the Judge on his trial stated "if I let him get away with it, this kind of thing would happen all the time." If the ticket wasn't your fault then by all means go for it. In this case, just keep your car inspected. Pranks like these just... aren't kosher. OMGWTFHAHAHAHAAHAHROFLROFLROFL.
7. A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink of water. The bartender thinks for a minute, pulls out a gun and points it at him. That man says "thank you" and walks out.
• It's a brain teaser. The guy has hiccups. I was never good at these, but there are plenty more on the site that I'm just not willing to go through.

Well that took me till lunch. Which turned out to be an awesome time killer. Don't get me wrong I was actually doing work sometimes. This was just something on the off chance I had a few more pages to stumble. It got my writing juices squeezed too. Wonderful. Let's do it again sometime.

ta ta kids.