>_< Let's Get Ranty (2)

I want to get these things off my chest. Mainly because these will most likely be going to a video and I'm just too lazy to finish this series I've been working on, so I'm kind of putting myself in a lock. So I want to at least have these ideas down before I forget, and I know I'm already starting to forget. I have only one a couple topics in my head right now. As soon as they're down, the less strain on my mind trying to remember them all the time.

Warm pee musk.

"Hey what's going on?" Has lost its meaning.

Napkin stacking

Holo  - Spice and Wolf is probably my soul mate. EDIT: I don't know what this was about, but I'm over it.
You're beautiful to cancer patients/disease people
You're a hero to people who served

Warm pee musk
I know I'm alienating a lot of my readers here, but this is something I had observed from time to time, and it bothers me every time it happens. Urinals, man. One of the best things about being a guy is the ability to pee standing up without having that pee dribble down my legs like delicious maple syrup dancing downward a beautiful pile of pancake legs.

But with great urinals, comes great responsibility and we penis wielders have developed a number of unwritten rules based on public bathroom etiquette. This isn't what this is about however (but it could be in a future post?). For just general background purposes, urinals are vertical wall toilets. You pee into the wall and your piss dribbles down into a small pool and you flush it away afterward - though THAT concept is lost for some people. Again, many drawbacks to this system, but it's fast and efficient. This part of the rant is for when you occupy a urinal right after someone uses it. Now this will happen if the person didn't flush at all or the the urinals flushing mechanism is too weak to wash the piss all the way through. So picture this - you approach the urinal and ready your member. Then you feel it. A small pocket of warmer than ambient temperature circulated around your crotch. It's the pee musk. The warm pee musk, I hate it. The warm air begins to rise and you get a quick whiff of what the persons pee smelled like before you. It's a terrible experience and it happens way too often. The worst part is that it can't be helped. You don't know which urinal was JUST used coming in. You have to follow the one stall rule and sometimes the pee musk is forced upon you. You gotta stand there and soak it all in while you do your business, and the mix of your two pee smells is something straight out of a 50 shades of grey limited golden shower edition novel. A bond is created by the previous Number one-er and the pee stars align, For the next 7-15 seconds it's you and the ghost of another mans penis liquid.

This is why after I'm done peeing I'll hang around ;) awhile just to make sure I prevent future piss takers from taking my musk. #peeitforward

"Hey what's going on?" Has lost its meaning.
Let me explain first. Have you ever had an interaction, where you're in a casual environment and you're walking down the hall and you see a person you know or have met before on the other side of the hall. You both are aware of each others presence and the faster you two come towards each other, the faster your brain races to figure out which kid of greeting is appropriate for the upcoming interaction. You're secretly dying for them to say hi first, or maybe you can just get off easy with a smile or nod. So the time has come, you've come within speaking distance and of course there are three options:

1) No one says hi by either complete lack of recognition, or a slight form of recognition (a smile or nod) and you move on with your life.

2) You say hi first.

3) They say hi first.

Still with me? Alright, so let's take option 2 and 3 and expand why I'm ranting in the first place. Maybe it's just here at work?. Actually, a majority of this happens in the workplace. I can see it happen at a high school or on campus or something... anyway. Recently when I've been said hi to, or am the one saying hi, I get a the same response, "Hey, how are ya?" or "hey, what's going on?" To which of course I respond, "I'm good/nothing much, you?" And that's that. We continue walking, go our own separate lives, until we meet again.

Anything wrong with that situation to you? No? Well let me clear it up: the person never responded to my damn question! I want to know how they are, just like they asked me how I am. What I don't understand is, why ask? Has this phrase also become so casual that even the question answered need not apply? Are we just walking too fast to make really small talk? It's not that hard to say "I'm fine, thank you" as you walk away. Even if you're not fine. Just straight up lie! But don't leave me hangin' like that! Why ask the question in the first place? It leaves me in a confused state as I walk away, it makes me think the person isn't at all fond of me. Pretty hurtful stuff.

Please tell me about your day... please...

Napkin Stacking

You smug little bastard.

This is a quick one. Who the FUCK thought it would be a great idea to stack napkins the way they are in local fast food napkin dispensers? I hate when sometimes they're over packed and I just end up pulling and ripping a part of it off. I have to repeat this process until the dispenser is loose enough not to give me anymore napkin bits. Sometimes I end up sticking a part of my finger in there and just taking a stack of napkins to bring back - which is fine until you have to deal with the stack that's on your table. Napkins are stacked in an over-under-over-under type way that when you reach for the top napkin, you get a piece of the second napkin because they're folded into each other. So you have to do this awkward "shake the excess off" thing just use you're goddamn napkin. Annoying as hell. Thinking rationally - I get it, it allows more napkins to be packed in and also helps with the whole dispensing thing - pulling out one will leave the next one sticking out cuz you pulled that shit out slightly also.

But fuck if you didn't do such a shitty job with it.

/rant

The other topics are a bit on the serious side so I'll go over them another time.

ta ta lods.

>_< A Passing

It's been an interesting few months. A couple posts ago I rambled about the death of a co-worker. I felt angry and confused, disappointed at big business. A post later I rambled about current events and then nothing for next year or so. I'm not gonna say I didn't have much to write about. It fact, I've been wanting to post many topics on my mind but I guess my heart was just never really in it. Back to the topic here. Was there a topic? Here's the topic - death. Again. Listen, it's not a great topic - I totally get that - but remember when I said my heart wasn't in it? There's something about this time that makes me want to talk about it.

Let's hit this on the surface before we get any deeper. Satoru Iwata, CEO of Nintendo passed away recently via complications of his cancer. Everyone has been well aware of his condition as he's missed the last E3's to take care of himself. Anyway, I found out about his passing during dinner, and it kind of put me in a quiet mood for the rest of the night. No, I didn't know him - never met him. Why did learning about his passing have an effect on me? What was his influence on my life? Nothing. Directly, at least. It's no surprise to anyone that I'm a die hard Nintendo fan. I wouldn't necessarily go out of my way to shut anyone up if an XBOX vs PS vs Nintendo debate started happening (though I probably would've in the past), but I'm more of a let me like what I like type of guy, and I like Nintendo. A lot. Memories of games played on the Super Nintendo are some of the clearest memories I have of my childhood. I remember leaving the SNES in the Philippines for my cousins to have - when I got it back in my pre-teen years, I had the experience all over again. It was something my sister and I could bond over. Something my friends and I could bond over - and that evolved through the future consoles: N64 with mario kart, mario tennis, mario party, pokemon stadium, hexen - Gamecube with super smash brothers and super smash brothers and super smash brothers. When the Wii came out I was immersed in playing single player games and really developing my craft and lore for Zelda games. Even mores o with the Wii U and more. But I digress. Playing through all those games, learning how to be with people, learning who I am, learning how I should be, all of it could be credited to Iwata. It's strange to say - but his influence in my life was - still is - heavy even if indirectly. That's why I got quiet. The company and I will continue just being, but it's interesting that such a man could put me in a sad mood. Enough on that.

My father's father (my paternal grandfather) passed away recently as well. This is where the differences are interesting. Similar to the previous passing of a grandfather, I was largely unaffected... for now. I mentioned the idea a few posts ago, it isn't the idea of his death that saddens me, it's the idea that my father will be sad that saddens me. My grandfather was not around too much in my adult life, but I certainly did see him and was influenced by him a lot more. I'm not here to play favorites - it was just a fact. Whenever I went home to visit the two, one had wi-fi and the presence of cousins/kids my age and the other didn't have wi-fi. It's such a millennial thing to say, but it's easy to admit that being at one place was easier than the other, so it was natural that I just happened to see him more than the other. Anyway, I have very fond memories of this grandfather. I enjoyed his charisma, confidence, and leadership abilities. He could get anyone to listen to him. He enjoyed setting me up with random women. He always assured me that I was his favorite (true or not I guess that's just what grandparents do). I only wish to have as many accomplishments as you - including raising a son as well as you have. Here's my question. Why didn't I go quiet when I found out? Why was I less affected? This man was family. I still haven't shed a goddamn tear about it. My mom and sis flew home for his funeral. Why didn't I go? I tell everyone that I didn't want to go home because my last visual representation of him was a good one. 80th birthday celebration. He was happy, laughing, strong. I was pressured to come home before his dying moments. I didn't want to see him like that. I'm terrible at conveying emotion (obviously). Everyone would walk around looking miserable, crying, sad and I would just be sitting there seemingly unaffected. I don't want my family to think I don't care. I just don't mourn the traditional way of mourning. After he passed, I didn't want to seem like I should just drop everything and go to his funeral. I didn't do the same for my other grandfather - what makes him any more important? HIS WI-FI? Nah man, that ain't cool. The fact of the matter is, although I did see him more than the other, he still wasn't around enough his passing to have an effect on me. Cold hard truth. I am sad that he's gone. I'm not going to cry about it (yet). I'm sad that my father now knows what it feels like to have a father pass away. I'm sad that one day I will know the feeling.

He gave me his business card, my grandfather. A few years back. On the back he wrote "together, we'll change the world." Man you were pretty cool.

-----------------------

Death is strange, isn't it? It effects everyone differently and yet we as a society are pressured to feel extreme sadness to show we care. I guess this is just my way of showing that I care. To both of you great gentlemen (great in their own ways), please rest happily in your afterlife. I'm not one to believe in ghosts or anything like that - but it'd be pretty cool if I got a random 1-UP one day during a video game session, or if some random chick walked by telling me that you told her that she should get to know me. I'm not interested Tatay, but thanks anyway.

ta ta kids

>_< This Week in Bullshit

Recent current affairs have led me to call out some bullshit happening in the world this week. I always preface my blind rants with the usual "I wasn't thinking, so please take my opinion with a grain of salt," and this time is no different. Certain stories made the headlines this week and I just have a few things to say so I can get them off my chest. Shall we?

Some Dude Got Wrongfully Shot By Police... Again

The fact that this keeps happening is ABSOLUTE bullshit. Without doing some actual research (because do I look like a journalist to you?), a black guy was shot to death (6 I believe) by an officer in Missouri? Yea let's go with that. Either way the point is there are two sides obviously. Witnesses say he didn't show any aggression and went peacefully. Cops say they shot because he appeared to be getting a weapon from his car? Either way the guy is dead and right or wrong - it's the government to decide. So probably wrong. What's worse is that people have become someone protest-y over this and though some decided to protest peacefully, many others decided to loot and riot. Perhaps maybe you can tell by my tone of writing who's side I'm on here. Whether you like it or not, there is no justice to be served by rioting or looting. Especially looting. If you want to show your disdain for this officers actions, I guess you can riot - but there is no point in looting. You're gonna steal from FAMILY DOLLAR and WALMART because someone you may or may not know was wrongfully taken down by the law? If you're gonna loot and go crazy, aim it at the police station or municipal building. Looting stores just shines a light on how SELFISH you are that you've lost sight of what you believe was right (because I'm sure you heart was in the right place) and you turned it into a good opportunity to stock up on food and supplies? You're disgusting. What's even worse is that the officer was suspended WITH PAY.

"Ah, time for a few weeks off, take care of that body would ya, Jim?"

This kind of thing needs to stop. Trigger happy cops who are jaded by power that they forget the very right of the people they swore to protect. I recall another story of the officer who put a choke hold on an asthmatic which aided if not caused the victims death. There's a little section in your tiny little rulebook that BASICALLY says not to use a choke hold... ever. How about just... don't be a dick, officer? That's a pretty good rule. Of course you probably don't know how to do that either.

Support ALS by Doing Nothing

An ice bucket challenge has hit the mainstream. Pour a bucket of ice water on yourself OR ELSE donate $100 dollars to support treatment/cure for ALS. The sentiment is nice, but I'm calling bullshit. Why? A good 95% who accept this challenge actually pour the water on themselves. This isn't helping ALS at all. "OH BUT IT'S SPREADING AWARENESS. MILLIONS KNOW WHAT ALS IS NOW." Hey, you know what? After the challenge finally hit the mainstream - EVERYONE STILL KNOWS (or at least those who cared to know) about ALS. They see some their favorite celebrities do it, they saw the news talking about it, they heard their friends are doing it. Heck, they probably saw something on their pop page on Instagram or Vine or some shit. If any of those outlets required someone to go, "Hey, what's ALS *google search*... oh," then BOOM the job is done. Awareness is spread, congratulations. You know what you DON'T have? Money for research and treatment.

I'm now AWARE, we don't have any money.

I believe one of the worst things is that as mentioned earlier, celebrities are doing this. Really? Donate the goddamn $100. Don't try to relate with those on the lower pay scale by convincing yourself you're doing a good thing because all that comes out of is is more publicity for you. Your PR rep must doing cartwheels. And to end my small little rant on this topic... IT'S FUCKING SUMMER TIME (in north america). OF COURSE YOU'RE GOING TO DUMP A BUCKET OF ICE WATER ON YOURSELF. IT'S HOT OUT. DONATE THE GODDAMN MONEY.

R.I.P Genie

I feel kinda bad including my thoughts on your passing at the end of some angry ranting. But if I don't do it now then I'll never get the words on... digital paper. Thanks for everything Robin Williams. Being a 90's kid, I grew up watching you as Genie from Aladdin. Most of my favorites include Mrs. Doubtfire, Jumanji, Hook, Jack, Flubber, Patch Adams, Good Will Hunting, even Bicentennial Man and Birdcage I'm sure the list goes on. It was a rare mix of happiness and relaxation when one of your movies would play on TV on a free weekend. I would just sit there and watch you all the way through. no matter how many times I've seen it. But what sealed the deal for me, what tied everything together, was when you revealed your open fandom about the Legend of Zelda. Whether or not it is true, I'm left to believe that you even named your beautiful daughter after the princess herself. You will always be a wonderful individual that wasn't afraid to be a little over dramatic when it came to expressing yourself and telling jokes. You taught me to care a little less of what people think of me, if it means the joke will be funny. It's saddening to know how you chose to leave this world, because the media will just bank on whatever headline thy can get - but here at least I treat your passing with respect and hope that wherever your sole may be, it rests in peace - and a whole lotta humor in the afterlife.

ta ta kids

Death of a Coworker

Death is an uncomfortable situation for most of us, When a coworker dies, the situation feels undefined and confusing. We spend a tremendous amount of time together with our coworkers. We are a part of the same daily world, yet we may not be close friends. We feel the loss daily as thoughts return to past or present projects and files or memos resurface. Walking past the "empty desk" becomes uncomfortable. It's confusing and sometimes frightening for coworkers to experience the depth of these feelings. People often try to talk themselves and others out of them. It is realistic and appropriate that coworkers are affected. To different degrees, we too, are the mourners, the ones left behind. IT TAKES TIME before we feel like ourselves and things return to normal.

Let's drop the professional act right there. It's time for real talk.

My coworker passed away recently. Being my pseudo-second boss, he was the last person I had talked to before I left work on Tuesday, June 17, 2014. His passing, has affected me a lot more than one would expect. My grandfather passed in February. He lived in the Philippines so my contact with him was limited. When he passed, I was largely unaffected. It really more or less hit home after I saw how it affected everyone else. I wasn't sad about his passing - I was sad about how others felt about his passing. Broke me to hear family members grieve, but I didn't grieve much. Is that odd? I'm not sure but I'm getting off topic.

My point is that my coworker's passing affected me. Someone I didn't know for too long, but the fact that I was in contact with him, and also the last person I spoke to before leaving made me feel something more than the passing of my own family member. I'm sure this is normal. The only reason why I'm typing anything about this (and I haven't published anything so far this year) is that theres something to say about the way his passing is treated in the workplace.

SIDE NOTE: Apparently there are 5 stages of coping - shock/denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. I guess this is anger. - - - end side note

I got the call at 7AM. I would never get a call from work that early unless it was important, so I answered and received the news - shock/denial. I spent the rest of the day spreading the news the people in my group at work then slowly went into a quiet depression. I'd been doing just fine until just today when our group leader called a mandatory counseling session. So let's get angry.

First and foremost: counseling on a death of a coworker should NEVER be mandatory. I get that you're trying to help others (like me) who keep to themselves after experiencing something like this, but abusing your power and forcing others and myself to a group counseling session is absurd, and a waste of time. I spent the whole session looking down and distracting myself from making eye contact with this "professional griever" because at that point I wasn't having any bullshit. I guess he's just been doing this counseling this for so long that everything he says and all the advice he gives sounds scripted and not geniune at all. Fake ass mofo says he understands but I believe he has become jaded due to over exposure to the situation.

Anyway, what got to me the most is when our group leader started talking about how his passing was a "great loss" and how much she appreciates everything he did for our group. Now this may be all well and good if it didn't come out so... professional. It was like hearing back from a college rejection letter. Same old scripted, vague, not geniune response. The same words would come out if I or anyone else passed away and that just isn't fair. I just wanted for once see these people be unprofessional. Drop the uniform, the ID card, and let me see how you really are. Stop with the "he was a great asset to the company and his contributions will be remembered blah blah blah blah"

I didn't know him as well as others did. Maybe I'm not qualified to say anything about it. I believe - and if you're somehow out there reading this feel free to agree - that you wouldn't want it like that. One of the many qualities that I remember about you that isn't the generic "great guy" or "family man" is that you know how to call out bullshit. In this project we were working on, you were the only one to call out if an idea was stupid. To hear others talk about your passing so generically is insulting and I apologize for the way it is... becasue that's business.

My group leader also said the business group is also greatly affected. This is true, but they aren't grieving, they're sweating their balls off trying to find a way to get their money back. I don't believe anyone higher than your position cares all that much about your loss. They're more worried about how to bounce back and continue making money. I can't blame them though, that's the nature of their job and I almost feel sorry for them.

My main point inf all this unorganized rambling is that I'm sick and tired of trying to maintain a professional environment. I hate that I have to talk differently when I'm at work and that I have to supress what I want to say, and even more differently to more important people. I want to give you a hive five, not shake your hand. I want to tell that counselor that he's a fake ass mother fucker. I want to tell the group leader that her scripted bull shit nonsense treats my coworkers passing like a college rejection letter. I'm so tired of not seeing people for who they really are behind their button down shirt.

I'm sad that you're gone, man. I'm sad that this blog doesn't do you justice and that I'm using it to portray my hatred towards big business and professionalism in general. What I'm most sad about is that before you left this world you told me to "have a good night" and when I said "you too," I didn't really mean it - I just said it becasue it was the professional thing to do.

>_< This Is Not My Hat: A Critical Review

So I'm perusing through Target yesterday and came across some children's books. I see the classics roll by: The Very Hungry Caterpillar, Are You My Mommy, etc. Then I come across a pair of books that catch my interest, one of which I will be doing a critical review in the following paragraphs, and the other I'll save for a later date (perhaps tomorrow). The book is titled This is not My Hat by Jon Klassen. Now Jon - can I call you Jon? - I believe your target audience consists of a younger age, those who may not be able to read, or just started reading. I for one fall into the special sub-category of "just getting back into reading and not sure if I can still read or not." Naturally this < 20 page thriller was just right for me. Though Jon, I fear that your audience has experienced the phenomena akin to My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. You wanted a children's book, but you ended up with something a different generation and audience appreciates. It's pretty amazing really. The whole book keeps you engaged in a simple way, and you'll read it through the end whether you like it or not. Let's just start with the cover art:

What a charming little fish, with a charming little hat. Oh, and in case you didn't know. That's not his hat. Already, just from the title, the reader is left wondering who the hell that hat belongs to. This is some deep stuff. Exactly the reason why I decided to pick up the book in the first place. I just need to know. In summary, the smug little bastard up there stole the hat from a bigger fish and is going to hide out in some kelp. "How big's the fish," you might be wondering...

2 Pages big.

The little fish spends about 5-6 pages bragging about how awesome he is, how he'll never get caught hiding in the forest, and as far as to say that the hat didn't even fit the fish right. So it was his god given right to take the hat away from the big fish because it looked so gosh darn better on him. The innocence this little fish has is so obscure. It justifies the stealing of a hat based on how cleanly he got away with it. So we're introduced to a character that we're already rooting against. The little one states that the fish was asleep and won't wake up for a long time. Sorry to burst your bubble, but -

Gettin real tired of your shit.

So now the reader is expecting some good 'ol fashioned butt kicking - er tail flopping. Fish violence. It's real, folks. As much as we'd like to see this all go down as soon as possible, the little fish had made a pretty good claim about how safe he'll be where "the plants are big and tall and close together." There needs to be a catalyst somewhere. Something that's really gonna tie all this future violence together. In order to do this we need to back track on the little fish's journey towards his safe haven. Particularly this scene:

I know nothing.

The little fish ensures the reader that even though he passed that crab up there, he was promised that said crab would not tell big fish where he was going. I mean that's a pretty good point there, and it really solidifies a symbol of comradery among nautical creatures. It's a good lesson for little kids to be able to find trust in other humans at first, instead of automatically rejecting the idea outright. They'll learn when they're adults that people pretty much suck a majority of the time, and it turns out being underwater is no exception.

You fucking rat.

By now you should already realize that the real appeal to this book are the illustrations. I mean just look at the genuine fear in that crabs eyes and the burning hell fire in the big fish's eyes. The unprecedented irony of the text that appears on this page. The contrasting colors. LEAVES. THE GOSH DARN LEAVES. This fight is going to go down and it's all thanks to Benedict Arnold over there. Though in his defense, I'd probably do the same in that situation.

So big fish has got his guns set to "kill" and as expected, little fish makes his way into the plant forest without worry.

Oh how wrong you are.

On of the best things about this book is its openness to interpretation. Which is pretty great for any age because the ending to the novel is so open ended, that it sort of gives you the freedom to end to book yourself. I mean yea basically the big fish goes into the kelp and finds the little fish, but the last page of the book is this:

He basically gets his goddamn hat back. With that smug look on his face too. What happened in the kelp? Did he just take it? Did he eat the little fish? Did he take the hat from the little fish and it didn't notice in some weird opposite plot universe? It's really all up to the reader and really there's only one ending that I could be happy with...

This guy dies.

ta ta kids