>_< Don't Hit Me, Bro

*unless I deserve it.

What I'm talking about here is something that's been irking me more recently because I accidentally (though lightly) exploded because I wasn't able to keep my composure, which I usually feel like I'm really good at.

Don't hit me. Like seriously. I know a few people who just friggin love to mimic like they're boxing me, put their fists up and give the good 'ol 1-2 punch either on the arms or even around my kidneys. Like fuck you, don't do it. I mean, you're free to do whatever you want, I suppose, but if you're going to continue with your silly little boxing games please do 1 of 2 things:

1) Don't actually hit me.

and if you REALLY can't control your caveman cravings...

2) Don't hit me, hard. Like not hard to YOU (cuz relatively speaking you wit your big 'ol man muscles might think it's just a tap), but like hard... at all. I'm talking like a feathery light ass touch. I'm talking like that light touch when you first grab a fine ass booty for the first time and you're just letting the contours glide all over the palm of your hand. I'm talking the first time you gotta put a catheter in. I'm talking when you about to hit a dog and it gives that scared looking face and instead of hitting them your just give 'em a nice little pat.

Thanks for understanding, bro

Like seriously bro this isn't a hard concept to understand. I get the whole "guys just wanna hit something all the time" but like, I didn't do anything to you. And I get it, you're just being a chill dude, you don't think anything of it, but just know that it bothers the living fuck outta me. I may have said it in an earlier post, but I don't really like to fight - I'm not big on hitting people or putting myself in a situation where I could get hit (which is ironic because I'm an asshole but oddly nice about it, maybe). I'm not sure really what it is, probably stems from hitting my sis when I was growing up and always getting in trouble for it. Nowadays it might just stem from knowing that I don't really think I'm all that strong... last thing I need is a reminder of that.

And is it weird that I feel like it's only done to me? We have a lot of mutual friends, but why do I feel like people always wanna hit me? Do I deserve it? Are you just passively aggressively giving me a couple body shots because you ACTUALLY wanna beat the living crap outta me? Communication is key here. I'm so confused.

I know that I'm basically talking to no one, but does anybody agree with me? Or am I being a little bitch?

ta ta kids

>_< In Retrospect, an Epiphany

I get it. The oversharing stuff. I think maybe I was writing about it and thinking about it negatively because of the mindset I was in. There are still some truths to my words though, else why would I say them? But they were delivered in a somewhat distasteful way and in the name of neutrality I took some time to think about what I've said and reflect.

Really the only thing that came to mind to justify that whole rant is that somewhere deep inside, I think I want to be that way also, but the effort and stigma that goes along with it kind of blocks me from doing so. I bet it'd be nice to share something about your life and see all the people in it (and some that aren't) approve of whatevers going on. To showcase how great my life is and have others think that way as well. Isn't our generation supposed to thrive on likes and follows? Sounds like a good time.

But I run the risk of also having people think that, "oh this guy is full of himself." etc etc. Who wants that kind of looming energy in their lives?

...
...

I think I care about what people think of me too much. I think I've always been like that, well at least into my early teens. Makes me miss the days when I walked into kindergarten and no one really cared about what you wore, what you looked like, how you talked. This is a deeper dive into a subject I don't really want to talk about. But the whole oversharing stems from the fact that it must be nice knowing (or thinking that knowing) that the people that you project your life to know that you've got just as good of a life as they do, and for some, better. So like I said at the beginning of this post, I get it.

That being said: I got a promotion at my job. I didn't think I'd get it because I received a raise at the beginning of the year. It's nice. Please, everyone, approve of me and my life.

Please.

>_< Oversharing? Stay Humble.

I'm a big fan of staying humble. I'm not really sure if I follow through with my own belief though. Perhaps I used to seem arrogant - and please, if anyone who knows me and reads this still believes I'm arrogant let me know - but I'd like to think I've humbled myself just a bit. As always let's relate this with a quick volleyball analogy.

Specifically dealing with players, the best of them know they're good. The worst of them know they're good, and aren't afraid to let YOU know that they're good. Personally, I think that's a terrible quality and you'll be hearing from me. Not directly - cuz I'm a real pussy like that, but I like to think that I can make a dent in your game mentally just by doing a few subtle things to try and set you off a bit. I'm getting off topic - as usual.

Please be humble. Some of the nicest people I've ever met are the ones that were super successful or super good at volleyball, etc etc and whenever they get complimented on it they brush it off like "nah, I'm not that good" or "thanks, but really it's not a big deal." Whenever someone says that it's like I'm a little kid again looking up to an older sibling and I'm just like "YOU'RE SO COOL! I WANNA BE LIKE YOU SOMEDAY!"

Teach me your ways!

I went to San Francisco recently, and I stayed in an Air B&B. The house was owned by a man not much older than I (probably). His house was amazing ($3 mil according to Zillow but that's not important). It was like everything I wanted my house to be. Smart home. The front door was controlled by a locking app. Doorbell had a camera. iPad mini's built into the walls to control music system for the house. Alexa answers to everything from the lights, to the TV - really just fantastic stuff. Through some discussion over dinner I had found out that he developed some kind of app that allowed you to compare the prices of college textbooks. Neat. I guess that explains all the swag. Anyway, the best part about it was that was the only time he said anything about it. He didn't go off on all his accomplishments, started ranting and raving about the tech market blah blah blah. He just said what he needed to - didn't offer more information (though he would've answered if I'd asked) - and continued the conversation about something else. I thought that was the coolest thing.

Anyway. The main reason why I decided to type this up is because some words that one of my closest friends had written about his life. It was a long post, but it was amazing to read. Basically, he has left the life he was leading here to pursue a dream in a field that can be difficult to find success in. He had something steady going for him but when a door opened, he left the room he grew comfortable in, closed the door - and entered a new one... with nothing to show for it. Through it all he will strive for success noting his flaws and accepting the position he's in.

First off, I want to say thank you for those words. I was always so impressed with your drive for success, literally leaving everything behind to do what you want which is something I could never see myself doing. It was amazing to read that. Because lately I've been thinking about all these people I "follow" on social media platforms and wonder if some of them have crossed into the line of arrogance through over sharing. What is the need to do such a thing? To want to show and tell EVERYTHING you're doing. Like, I get it - there are some things worth sharing and showing but it must be exhausting to be constantly thinking about it all the time. To remind yourself when you park at Target to turn on your phone, go onto Facebook, and say you're at Target. To interrupt your time with friends and family to make sure you've tagged everyone in the room in some post. To think about clever #hashtags. I guess this is good for some people but for me, I guess I just want to know the reason why. I may be closed minded at this point but I feel like the only reason why someone would post anything and everything about their life is to look for same kind of attention or validation. To get that kind of high knowing that there are people who will look at the life you're living and be envious of it. Perhaps I'm being too cynical at this point.

Is it like a scrapbook type of thing? I'm guilty of that kind of stuff. I take videos on vacation with the intention of putting it up on YouTube - not for the likes, but so I can go back to see what it was like if I happen to forget.

I feel like I'm jumping topics. I've had to change the title of the blog like a million times now. What was I talking about? Being humble? Ok. Here's a thing by Craig Kanalley:

"... no matter what you do, no matter how successful you are, no matter how lucky you are, never boast about being better than others. Because in the end, you are really just a branch. Whatever you do is just part of that branch, connected to other branches and a tree that is way larger than you.

And there is a root that supports you. All the people who have gone before you, all the knowledge they built up, the language they coined that you use to communicate, the businesses and industries that rose to give you work, water, shelter and food, the upbringing your parents, teachers, or other loved ones gave you, what your friends have done for you, and so on. That’s the root that supports everything you do and everything you are. Not to mention the Creator of life itself, who I call God, and you may call something else (or believe something else) but that’s fine. Recognize all that. Be humble.

Also, if you’re lucky enough to have all those basic aspects of life mentioned above (work, food, water, shelter), you’re lucky. Because not everyone on this Earth does. And even in your own life, you may go through times when these things are in abundance, and others when they’re not. Be grateful for what you do have. Be humble.

More than anything, remember the root. Remember where you came from and those who helped you get to where you are. No one on this Earth is 100 percent original and no one’s knowledge is 100 percent their own. Ideas and inspiration come from elsewhere. You yourself are unique, but you come from elsewhere, not from yourself. Remember that. Be thankful for that. Be humble."

Food for thought? But hey whatever, I don't know your life. I don't know the psychology of oversharing. I'll probably look it up and maybe write about it? Who knows.

ta ta kids