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"Today You, Tomorrow Me" - Reddit user rhoner
Just about every time I see someone I stop. I kind of got out of the habit in the last couple of years, moved to a big city and all that, my girlfriend wasn't too stoked on the practice. Then some shit happened to me that changed me and I am back to offering rides habitually. If you would indulge me, it is long story and has almost nothing to do with hitch hiking other than happening on a road.
This past year I have had 3 instances of car trouble. A blow out on a freeway, a bunch of blown fuses and an out of gas situation. All of them were while driving other people's cars which, for some reason, makes it worse on an emotional level. It makes it worse on a practical level as well, what with the fact that I carry things like a jack and extra fuses in my car, and know enough not to park, facing downhill, on a steep incline with less than a gallon of fuel.
Anyway, each of these times this shit happened I was DISGUSTED with how people would not bother to help me. I spent hours on the side of the freeway waiting, watching roadside assistance vehicles blow past me, for AAA to show. The 4 gas stations I asked for a gas can at told me that they couldn't loan them out "for my safety" but I could buy a really shitty 1-gallon one with no cap for $15. It was enough, each time, to make you say shit like "this country is going to hell in a handbasket."
But you know who came to my rescue all three times? Immigrants. Mexican immigrants. None of them spoke a lick of the language. But one of those dudes had a profound affect on me.
He was the guy that stopped to help me with a blow out with his whole family of 6 in tow. I was on the side of the road for close to 4 hours. Big jeep, blown rear tire, had a spare but no jack. I had signs in the windows of the car, big signs that said NEED A JACK and offered money. No dice. Right as I am about to give up and just hitch out there a van pulls over and dude bounds out. He sizes the situation up and calls for his youngest daughter who speaks english. He conveys through her that he has a jack but it is too small for the Jeep so we will need to brace it. He produces a saw from the van and cuts a log out of a downed tree on the side of the road. We rolled it over, put his jack on top, and bam, in business. I start taking the wheel off and, if you can believe it, I broke his tire iron. It was one of those collapsible ones and I wasn't careful and I snapped the head I needed clean off. Fuck.
No worries, he runs to the van, gives it to his wife and she is gone in a flash, down the road to buy a tire iron. She is back in 15 minutes, we finish the job with a little sweat and cussing (stupid log was starting to give), and I am a very happy man. We are both filthy and sweaty. The wife produces a large water jug for us to wash our hands in. I tried to put a 20 in the man's hand but he wouldn't take it so I instead gave it to his wife as quietly as I could. I thanked them up one side and down the other. I asked the little girl where they lived, thinking maybe I could send them a gift for being so awesome. She says they live in Mexico. They are here so mommy and daddy can pick peaches for the next few weeks. After that they are going to pick cherries then go back home. She asks if I have had lunch and when I told her no she gave me a tamale from their cooler, the best fucking tamale I have ever had.
So, to clarify, a family that is undoubtedly poorer than you, me, and just about everyone else on that stretch of road, working on a seasonal basis where time is money, took an hour or two out of their day to help some strange dude on the side of the road when people in tow trucks were just passing me by. Wow...
But we aren't done yet. I thank them again and walk back to my car and open the foil on the tamale cause I am starving at this point and what do I find inside? My fucking $20 bill! I whirl around and run up to the van and the guy rolls his window down. He sees the $20 in my hand and just shaking his head no like he won't take it. All I can think to say is "Por Favor, Por Favor, Por Favor" with my hands out. Dude just smiles, shakes his head and, with what looked like great concentration, tried his hardest to speak to me in English:
"Today you.... tomorrow me."
Rolled up his window, drove away, his daughter waving to me in the rear view. I sat in my car eating the best fucking tamale of all time and I just cried. Like a little girl. It has been a rough year and nothing has broke my way. This was so out of left field I just couldn't deal.
In the 5 months since I have changed a couple of tires, given a few rides to gas stations and, once, went 50 miles out of my way to get a girl to an airport. I won't accept money. Every time I tell them the same thing when we are through:
"Today you.... tomorrow me."
-------------------------------Nice. That story gets me ROCK HARD on an emotional level. Re-reading gets my eyes real watery, like a pussy getting ready for a double down serving of man meat. But let's get serious here.
I was rereading that story thinking about what I wanted to say. It hit me right around this line: "He conveys through her that he has a jack but it is too small for the Jeep so will need to brace it." Weird line to be inspired by, right? It reminded me of my father. Growing up, I'm sure this guy would've been my father. It doesn't help that we Filipino's are considered the "Mexicans of Asia." I mean I don't detest the stereotype but I'm not going to argue about that right now. Fact is, I imagined myself in this situation in the Philippines. This would happen in an instant, no problem in some of the rural areas. It kind of also made me realize what the factor was here: culture.
I'm going to say here that I am heavily generalizing the USA here- as the OP did in the beginning when commenting about his frustration with the lack of help. I know there is kindness out there. The fact is, here in the USA at least nowadays - we run on OUR time and we can't be bothered with random acts of kindness too often. I believe our culture is too involved with worrying about how the individual will get by and provide for those he/she is responsible for - including themselves. There's very little room for compassion for other people outside the 6° of separation. I find that a little disappointing. There's a lot of influence out there that leads us to believe that wasting our own time costs potential money to be earned. Personally, I don't believe to be too affected by this. Hell, it may not even be true - but it is just a suggestion. My own personal opinion on the topic is this: we won't help strangers because THAT MAN WILL KILL ME. I touched on this topic in my last post about general safety. I don't feel safe helping someone on the side of the road. So many stories about people getting shot, stabbed, kidnapped in the craziest way possible - I'm gonna be the next victim on that list all because I decided to be a nice guy and help a guy with his tire. Thanks America for instilling fear on such an exponential level that you've taken the kind spirit out of me. I'm more worried about myself and the fact that I should assume the guy who CLEARLY needs any help he could get is going to murder me, put me in his never-broken-in-the-first-place car's trunk, rape me, chop me up into little pieces, and spread my parts across the state lines. Oh, but don't forget that'll he'll probably save one for himself to eat. Also he's black, because America. Also he plays video games where he clearly got the idea from, because America. Also he smoked weed, because America. You see where I'm headed here? That can be a whole different, more gritty topic. (Let's be honest, I'll never talk about it)
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| This was the guy I'm talking about, in case you were curious. |
I was looking for a funny picture to capture. Something along the lines of the word "kindess" spelled with dollar signs for the S's? (KINDNE$$ for the visually impaired). I came across this one and this infuriated me for some reason. You think you're doing a pretty neat Pinterest worthy thing, but I detest this so much. You're teaching your kids that kindness is rewarded with money. This kid will grow up helping the guy and in the end will stick his hand out asking for some kind of payment. Instead of having a goddamn pay it forward jar - just tell your kids to pay it goddamn forward with a high five or something. Or associate kindness by following up with an activity a child enjoys - so they associate kindness with a feeling rather than a payment. God, I'm going to be the worst parent.
This post is getting long. I just have one last thing to say. Always offer food when you can. I get that from my family and it's a great thing to do.
ta ta kids
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