>_< I am disgusted by...

Remember that writing prompt website I advertised a couple posts ago? The prompt today is found at the title. I had tried going to this site a few times now and I found that I didn't really like the prompt, but then I realized that's not really the point. I should be able to write something even if I don't particularly enjoy what's given. So let's get started. I am disgusted by...

EDIT: so I started this off with things that bother me. I had typed in terrible driving and rude behavior. I don't like where that post was going. This shouldn't be Let's Get Ranty Part whatever the heck I was on. I'm take this prompt on a literal perspective.

I'm disgusted by rotting/rotten food. There's been a small infestation lately in my house with food. There is nothing more off putting then fining a bug in your soup that just kills the appetite. I'm well aware that a single fly in your soup is not going to kill me (statistically), but there is just something about it that is enough to tell your brain to just stop. Growing up a bit in the Philippines, there were flies everywhere landing on your food and taking off again. I was fine with it. I'm assuming that the "first worldliness" of the US has kind of set the bar a bit higher when it comes to sanitary consumption. That's too bad, because I feel like I've wasted a lot of food in recent times because I didn't want to share my food with some flies. So rude.

Actually, I've boycotted the rice we cook at home, simply because there have been maggots living in the rice, and consequently being cooked in the rice as well. Looking back, I've probably consumed SO MANY MAGGOTS and I've turned out (relatively) fine. Those buggars are really hard to see, and really easy to miss. One time I scooped a fresh batch of rice up into a plate, and I saw a little guy taking his last squirms before dying. Yep, never eating rice (from my house) ever again.

Why not TWO scoops?

Apparently this is a pretty common occurrence with cheaper rice/grains. Still gross. On a MILDER side, I think the very first time I acted in this way is when I started avoiding eating the bruised parts of a banana. There's definitely NOTHING wrong with it, it's just a matter of preference. Still though.

Actually I found one of those filthy maggots biting into a banana once. I gave up bananas for awhile. Actually typing this I'm gonna give up bananas for a little bit again. UGH.

Other things that disgust me? I dunno, things that look like they haven't been cleaned for AGES. Take a couch, for example. You see one at a garage sale, obviously you're gonna spruce it up, give it a quick wash, all good. But like you see the ones out in the front with a "FOR SALE" sign that you know has been there for at least a few days, it becomes a little off putting. There's a better example in there somewhere. You get what I mean.

In terms of smells - I'm not a huge fan of trash - and like the collective trash you smell when a garbage truck passes by. Normal trash obviously doesn't smell too good, but at least it's tolerable. It's the collective efforts of a small community that makes trash smell like... well trash. Accompanying that idea is also the smell of rotting flesh. Not like dead bodies (though I'd imagine they'd smell the same way) but really old meat. I left some meat outside to throw out but never got to it... ON A HOT SUMMER DAY. I waited MUCH too long and eventually that smell was everywhere and I was too afraid to get rid of it because flies and maggots have now gotten INTO the bag and it was making the most threatening buzzing sound you've ever heard. I'm getting grossed out reminiscing.

Thick liquids and being sticky. If i'm outside and I accidentally step into a soft muddy spot on the ground that is just enough to hold onto my foot for a second or two, I'm disgusted. Likewise, if I lean my hand on a tree and wasn't aware of the sap on that tree, I am immediately disgusted. Being sticky is NOT a good feeling. It's not like sap is acid that's gonna burn your skin off, it's that when I move my fingers it there shouldn't be any resistance. That goes with all things sticky: honey and other forms of thick liquid sugar, adhesives, etc.

One last comment because I'm disgusted typing this material. I'm actually not too bothered with some obvious answers like gore. Broken bones and severed heads in real life is sad and disheartening, but I don't think disgusted is the right word for it. I'm pretty ok with poop. Bugs are still gross. So yea. that's all.

BUT WAIT! Not a disgust, but trypophobia always gets someone feeling something.

AMIRITE???

ta ta kids

>_< A Very Good Word Avalanche

Goddamn, English. You crazy as hell. For those not in-the-know, word avalanches form when similar sounding words or repetitions are combined to make a coherent phrase or sentence. The easiest example I can think of in my head...

You know they're making a professional GoPro camera? They're calling it the ProGoPro. They're giving one to every policeman on duty - they'll call it the PoPo ProGoPro.

Neat, right? Another one I remember form whatever source (maybe a song?) is "real eye realize real lies." Fun to say, fun to think of, fun to share. Then I came across this one:

A swindler passes by a bird in the stairwell of an apartment building...

The swindler was headed upstairs to visit his friend, the forger. The bird he passed along the way was the forger's homing vulture, which was en route to the forger's publisher to make a delivery. Unfortunately, the poor bird had to fly down the stairwell to ground level and out the open terrace since the forger's apartment had no windows. She was carrying some rolled up paper on which her owner had written the perfect end to his prized short story, what's delivery was a mission of utmost importance.

You see, the forger was very proud of this story's ending as it unabashedly mocked the last two novellas in a complete collection written by his far more successful literary rival, Condolyssa Blackburn, who had worked to expose the forger's dishonesty by high-hatting his private dealings in her writings, of which the forger grew thirsty for revenge. This same short story would later assist the forger in framing her for a homicide.

So, the swindler in the stairwell knew of the forger's vulture, but he hated birds and went about swatting and cursing at her for flying around in the building. Though, little did the swindler realize that there was a third crook who had been hiding in the shadows of the stairwell above him. As the swindler rounded the corner and came into view, the young thief named Khan had already lept from the banister one floor up behind the swindler as he planned to knock the swindler down and take his money.

As was indicative of his inexperience, young Khan did not notice the vulture until after he lept from the banister as he was too busy marking the swindler to notice the large bird flying past him on it's way down. The sight of the dutiful bird had caused the swindler to stop and swat and curse, which completely negated Khan's calculated leap, so as he fell toward where the swindler would have been had it not been for the vulture, he joined the swindler in cursing wildly at the bird because she had single-wingedly ruined his plan.

Khan's midair cursing fit caught the attention of the swindler who sighted him, and since Khan was quite green and merely half his age, the swindler immediately began talking down to him, attempting to illustrate how feeble and worthless his attempt to swindle a swindler. Yet, as the swindler turned to continue his ascent upstairs, his pride had hindered him from noticing that Khan had successfully picked the wallet from his back pocket.

Thus, Khan's incredibly embarrassing, albeit successful, incident is now humorously referred to among his fellow con men as the "greatest con ever botched," which is far less mentally demanding than what it was formerly referred to as, which was the "condescending conned ascending con dissenting condor-sending condescending con's descending condor sending condor-sending condescending con's dissenting conte's ending condescending con-dissenting Condi's ending condescending contes ending condescending Khan's descending on dissenting conned ascending con dissenting condor-sending condescending con's descending condor sending condor-sending condescending con's dissenting conte's ending condescending con-dissenting Condi's ending condescending contes ending condescending conned ascending con's dissenting on dissenting condor-sending con's descending condor sending condor-sending condescending con's dissenting conte's ending condescending con-dissenting Condi's ending condescending contes sending condescending Khan descending condescending condor-sending condescending con's descending condor sending condor-sending condescending con's dissenting conte's ending condescending con-dissenting Condi's ending condescending contes sending condescending conned ascending con's dissenting condor-sending condescending con's descending condor sending condor-sending condescending con's dissenting conte's ending condescending con-dissenting Condi's ending condescending contes on descending condescending Khan's descending" con.

By Reddit user  shigglesmcwhigley

It's things like these that make me wish I had more of a creative mind. Good on you, mate. This is excellent.

ta ta kids.

>_< 27 Questions To Find Your Passion (Part 3)

So it's good that this is the last part because I honestly wasn't getting much out of it, even if the last few questions in the previous part were getting a little juicy. Again, I haven't seen the last set of questions, but hopefully before the end of it all something inside me is gonna click and I'll find my passion, quit my job, and just go do it....

HAHAHA sike. I'm scared.

19) If you were able to be a member of the audience at your own funeral (in 100 years or so) what would you want to hear people say?
OH DAMN. My energy right now - out the fucking door. I'm gonna make a cup of tea before I answer this question.

So I'm dead, huh? Well. that stinks. This questions is really interesting to me as it opens up a whole narrative about self-reflection. There's a lot of things that I imagine people at my funeral would say about me, and whether or not that differs from my own thoughts... well - let's talk it out.

Let's start with my friends. I would hope they all say the same thing. Something along the lines of how much of an asshole I was, but also how much fun I was to be around with some "he had a really bad but really great sense of humor." Maybe something about volleyball and how much I loved it and how great of a player I was. Honestly I'd be surprised if anything about my intelligence came up. I never really saw my self as like a genius in my field but I guess it may come off that way at least to some people that I was arrogant about being a chemist and having a chemistry degree. Maybe I'm just too proud.

For those who are closer to me I'd pretty much expect a generic eulogy. A shared memory tied with some neat words that make it seem like they actually care. Don't read that the wrong way - I KNOW that people care about me and everything they say would be genuine and heartfelt, but there's just so much genuinely nice things to say about a person you care about at their funeral before it becomes too... scripted. It's sad, really because I can imagine it now...

"What can I say about Roy? He was a grandfather, father, brother, uncle, athlete, musician, and most importantly a great and kind soul... he made everyone around him laugh..."

While everyone sips on their pumpkin spice tears

Basic stuff. What would I want people to say? Hmm...

"So Roy's dead. FINALLY *pause for laughter*. He was a really great guy wasn't he, when he wasn't pretending to not be racist or to not be a pedophile? I really miss they way he could make a group feel uncomfortable by forcing a laugh in non-laughable situations. blah blah volleyball blah blahh great singer blah blah..."

I was really going to commit to writing my own euology. Then I got sad. Let's move on.

20) What do you want to be remembered for - what dent do you want to have put in the world?
Oh, great. More depressing questions. See above I guess. I've already come to the realization that I'm not here to change the world. Just live it like the billions of us try to do every day. My range of influence isn't SO big - so I'm not worried about leaving a legacy or anything like that. The only dent that I want to put in this world is to be remembered by those in a non-negative way. The best scenario would be "Remember that Roy kid?" "Yea, he was an ass." *cue laughter. The laughter there is important. Don't call me an ass then not laugh like you meant it. I WILL haunt you.

21) What do your friends always tell you you'd be good at, that you should do for a living (i.e. "he'd make a great...)? If you don't remember, then go ask five of them.
Oh so now this is some kind of ice breaking exercise? I gotta talk to people? Heck no. As far as I remember, I don't think anyone has ever said once to me that I would make a good anything. I was always kind of good and picking new things up and I never excelled at anything good enough for people to say I should be doing that for the rest of my life. There have been casual conversations, I guess, where the thought of singing was a thing but no one ever convinced me hard enough. It was more like, "oh you're good at that, wouldn't it be cool if you did that for a living?" When I was younger my friends would entertain the fact that I'd be a good basketball player. HAH.

Oh wait, I just remembered. Acting. That was a thing people thought I'd be good at and people think I'm good at. The kind of career is really hard to pursue though.

22) What are you naturally curious about?
How people do things. Especially athletes. I love watching professionals or really good players play a game that I am interested in. I naturally just study them and end up copying their moves. Serving in tennis? Roddick. My jump serve for volleyball? Lawson. I find it interesting how I can just say "I wanna do that" take a quick video in my head of them doing that and just go do it. Obviously not perfect, but effective enough to improve my game.

Another thing I'm curious about is the world, man. *takes a hit from joint* It's the main reason why I study chemistry. I wanted to study how the world works and why it does. I get that there's physics for all that natural stuff, but knowing why leaves change color and why our sky is blue and how our gas burns in our car gives you a deeper, better appreciation for it. #deep

23) If you had a free hour to surf the internet, what would you explore?
Porn.

24) Think back when you were 5 or 10 years old. What did you want to be when you grew up? Anything goes. What skills and metaphors do these represent (i.e. pilot may be a symbol for freedom)?
When I was younger, and I think I may have written this on a previous entry, but I would tell everyone that I would be a neurosurgeon. Goddamn what a dream that was. Then I dabbled (and still do dabble) in thinking about being a game designer for Nintendo. Also a good dream. Neurosurgery is no joke, this might have been a metaphor of how badly I wanted to tell everyone I was smart/ Game designer was just a metaphor of showing everyone I was normal ass kid.

25) If you could write a book to help the world, that is guaranteed to be a best seller, what would the title be? What's it about?
"How not to be a dick" or "Don't take yourself (and the world) seriously". Like, really people in this world (at least the people that have the most influence - or the biggest voice) need to chill out. People are always looking to make noise about being offended about the stupidest thing. Don't take the world too seriously. I feel like because all the media outlets that tweak their news and headlines to gain views are introducing a wrong mindset to those who haven't put a finger on how the world works yet. I didn't use to think it would matter if a black guy approached me at night, now I do. Thanks, Obama.

26) What careers do you find yourself dreaming of? What jobs do others have that you wish you were yours?
See above.Game designer. For the jobs I wish that were mine? Any that pays a hefty sum of money that requires little to no work at all. Nothing physically taxing. When I see people just sitting at their desk, writing blogs about things that aren't important - oh. Nah i'm good. This job is good.

27) What 3-5 dream jobs or businesses can you imagine would firmly embody your core beliefs about the world? Sky's the limit.
What the hell with this question. I wanna get paid to tell people they're overreacting. I wanna be able to have direct lines to any media coverage and tell them to calm the fuck down. A froyo joint. Goddamn they must make a shit ton of money.

So that's it. Did I find my passion? Seems like volleyball, video games, and being a dick while also teaching people how to not be a dick are my passion. Thanks, random survey.

AN ADDENDUM: I found a link that gives daily writing prompts. I'll probably start doing those once in a while too.

ta ta kids

>_< 27 Questions To Find Your Passion (Part 2)

I haven't seen the rest of the questions yet so it'll be interesting to see my genuine reactions to how ridiculous these questions might be. I had an interesting time answering the first 9 questions, and am still looking for deeper meanings to those that will be asked. Something tells me I'm not doing this find your passion thing right, or even better - maybe I never needed it anyway. Anyway, let's move on.

10) If you could have or do anything, what would it be?

First thing that comes to mind, money. If I could have anything, it would be a good amount of money. I keep touching this subject because it's important. I think I feel a rant coming on...

Listen. People who say you don't need money (while living in America and maybe most places) in order to be happy is dead wrong. I hate to admit it and throw it down on you real hard, but if you want to be happy, chances are you're going to want something that costs money. Even if you're so brooding and deep and your happiness depends on non-tangible objects (like other peoples happiness, or a family, or just a breath of fresh air every once in a while) - chances are there's gonna be money related.

I wanted to write more, but I need to stay focused. So yes, if I could HAVE anything, it'd be money and from that I could technically have ANYTHING else that came to mind. The question is pretty broad in itself, so I'm going to give a pretty broad answer.

If I could DO anything? Hm i'd probably just travel (which surprise, costs money). I'd like to take a year out of my life, ideally, in order to just travel by myself and experience what this world has to offer. By myself. I want to go to the most busiest places in the world, and I also want to visit the remote places in the world. Somewhere where it's just... quiet. I want to escape, even for just a little bit.

11) What topics do you find yourself continuously arguing or defending with other? What beliefs does your stance represent?

Ew. What a question. I'm not one to argue or defend topics. I enjoy looking at situations on both perspectives and taking a neutral party. There is no way that everyone in this world will agree on one thing, so spending energy arguing/defending trying to convert one person to see things your way seems like a chore to me. It's nor worth it. I really just prefer to discuss topics and see how other people view the world. Disagree or not, it's nice to see perspective without taking action.

If I were to pick one thing for this question though it'd probably be religion. I don't know if over saturation of media and how poorly religion topics are handled is what caused all this rustling in everyone jimmies, but there are things to be said about the way this world views religion. It's really interesting how intolerant people can be with everyone's beliefs. I'm all for religion, believe what you want and let it shape who you are. I feel like I've said it before - just don't try and shove it down other peoples throats, and don't act upon those who disagree with you. I'm not gonna off a guy for thinking the governing head of their religion doesn't look the same as mine. They do they same job anyway - keep your ass morally in check (hopefully). Does it matter if it's an elephant or a black guy somewhere that's judging you - it's making you a better person.

12) What makes you most angry about the state of the world? With unlimited resources how could you fix it?

The ultimate goal for me here is to try and have everyone agree on one thing. I don't care what it is. It could be that mosquito's are annoying. It could be that learning is important. I feel like if I could get the entire population of humans who can form rational thought to agree on one thing - it would be awesome. Let's face it, there's gonna be people out there who will disagree because it's the cool thing to do. So it's a pretty interesting goal to achieve. It makes me the most angry when people don't agree, because it is almost never handled in a civilized way. Wars can start, people and relationships can get broken. People just yell and an agreement can never be made. This is why I don't like arguing. This is why during most arguments I'll most likely settle down and condescendingly provide a solution that neither parties agree on, but still caters to their side in some way. A sassy, "you're right" will always do the trick. With unlimited resources, I'd probably wipe everyone's memory off, develop a world wide PA system and have the nicest person I know reteach the world on how to be a good person. Shoot for the moon, right?

Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars. Dead most likely.

I re-read the question. I feel like these questions are fishing for the quintessential answers. I wanna end world hunger! I hate how there are people out there who can't eat! Give food to everyone with unlimited resources! Blah just a side note I guess.

13) What are you most afraid of for the next generation, whether you have kids or not?

Anyone answering this question from the early millennial generation would probably answer the same. I am personally afraid of our dependency of our technology. Don't get me wrong, tech needs to improve and advance to do bigger and better things in this world. I'm talking specifically about cell phones and similar electronics. Why is it that I get pissed off when I see a six yr old with a smart phone? Some inherent jealousy because I didn't receive mine until I was 15? Maybe. The fear really comes from the experiences with the younger kids in my family and other personal observations. I've seen my little cousins be completely anti-social because they're looking down at a screen. I've seen them become irrationally aggressive when it is taken away from them. It's odd really. If this type of behavior translates as they grow up, then my fear is that I won't ever see my grand kids actual face, because video calling is good enough. I'm afraid that it actually WILL be enough. These things can't be helped, and only time will tell after all. Good question.

14) What do you love helping people with? How do you most commonly help others?

Easy question. I love when players ask me (as a coach or otherwise) "what am I doing wrong?" I may not have the answer right away but looking for the answer and telling them the answer I feel like is an awesome feeling, whether they take my advice or not. I also like helping people get things done together. The act of teamwork gets me pretty moist. Not like someone needs my help and I do the one thing for them, that's nice - but what I'm more looking for is someone needing my help and the two or more of us work together to get it done. That's a good feeling.

For some reason I also like reaching for things that short(er) people can't get to. Is that weird?

15) What's your favorite section in the bookstore? What's the first magazine you'd pick up at the grocery store?

Now we're talking. I don't have any idea how this question relates to passion finding, but at least it's different! At a bookstore, I'd probably go straight to graphic novels/comics if I didn't already pass the gaming section. Barnes & Noble specifically, I always go right to the board games/collectable figures first. Then make my way up to the graphic novels, and MAYBE take a peek at what the teens are reading these days. I also like to peruse the science/chemistry section along with psychology if I remember.

As for magazines, I'd probably pick up any gaming ones, something about tech, and science.

16) When was the last time you couldn't sleep because you were so excited about what you had to work on? What was it?

I like this question because of how surprised I was about the answer. I couldn't really think of anything volleyball related because the reasoning is odd. I was probably excited about a tournament or something, but that isn't something I had to work on per se.

The only thing that came to mind is not being able to sleep because I had something to film, or play a part in front of someones camera or heck even a live audience. Along the same lines, I remember being restless because I had to practice some dancing - but not because I was dancing, but because I was going to see people I genuinely liked being around. I become restless when big events that involve a good amount of eyes on me are going to be a thing. Pre stage-fright jitters, I guess.

17) If you trusted that your art (your creativity) would support your life, how would you live?

Traveling a lot I hope. My art is my music (or ability for music). I'd like to be touring with a band for as long as my body would allow. I wouldn't mind singing of course, maybe not solo - with a group.

18) Out of all your current work roles, what would you gladly do for free?

Coach volleyball. If I had more time and less of an inconvenient commute, I'd do that shit for free in a heart beat.

The questions got really good towards the end, albeit providing shorter answers. I had the side note on this entry that the questions were fishing for those cliche answers, but I like where the last few directions were headed. Makes me somewhat excited for the last 9.

 ta ta kids

>_< 27 Questions To Find Your Passion (Part 1)

Cuz I'm not going to answer these questions in one goddamn go, what you think I have ALL THIS FREE TIME AT WORK OR SOMETHING? Please. Let's do 3 parts, 9 questions each. I math good, I know.

Background: A close friend of mine has been having some trouble finding his way in life. His work has gotten boring and no longer interests him. He has made some effort on finding some activities he's interested in. Commendable effort, actually the second most effort put into something by someone I know. The first goes to another friend who decided to to fly to China to literally do what he wants. I could never do that, and at this point you all probably know why. ANYWAY, this original friend and I have been talking a lot and as we prepare to vacation together, a lot of talking has becoming advice giving and general opinion sharing of other issues. He sent me this PDF file from some entrepreneur that encourages "chasing the dream" and starting a business and doing what you love mumbo jumbo. I personally am not a fan, but hey, whatever get's you outta the bed in the morning to "just do it" get's a pass in my book.

There are way too many images of this speech on the internet.

1) What makes you happiest in your life? What excites you?
Really starting off strong with this one, huh? Seems to be the broadest question with the broadest of answers. I'm gonna start typing without too much thought to see if I can stumble upon a deeper meaning.

You know what makes me the happiest in my life? Knowing that I can wake up every day with a roof over my head, clothes to wear, food to eat. People who care about me and people I care for relying on one another to live their lives. Having money - though not a whole lot of it (and if you don't agree  you're stupid).

What excites me? Lacing up my shoes to get ready to play volleyball. Knowing that I have plans and things to do after work. Getting seated at a restaurant. Getting things that I ordered in the mail. Knowing I have time to myself. Having the time to myself. Friday's after work. An aced serve, a winning point. Plans that were pre-made and executed without faults. Ripping off a tags on new clothes I just bought. Turning on a new electronic. Free food. Happy parents. Staring at a room area you just cleaned.

I mean are you looking for something deeper? Cuz writing all those things down just now has put my heart rate in a tizzy.

2) What do you do that makes you feel invincible?
Kill a ball on a great set, open net. Finishing a workout. I've already discussed my fear of dying at any moment. This question is really hard to answer, but obviously my first though went to volleyball. Now I'm slowly realizing these questions might be useless to answer since my passion is volleyball. Perhaps I'll humor myself and continue on the possibility of finding something new. I guess I also feel slightly invincible when I weave in and out of slow moving traffic smoothly, but that probably says more negative things about me than positive. Let's move along.

3) What do people thank you for?
Oh this is a neat question. I get thanked for good plays in volleyball. I get thanked for covering someone when a payment is due. I get thanked for all the rides I give. For doing favors. Holding the door. I'm not really sure where this question is wanting to take me, but I'm pretty superficial when it comes to the answers. I mean, it's not like I get thanked for being a son, or being strong. The closest to that would be being thanked for being a good friend and listener. That doesn't happen too much but it does make for a nice warm feeling. Thanks on their own are pretty weird I think. It's hard to tell if their genuine nowadays - always depends on the situation. If you're checking out at the register, you're going to get thanked and thank the person at the register as well. I get that you'll MEAN it, but I feel like it doesn't hold the same strength as thanking someone for saving their dog or something. Get what I mean? Perhaps that's another discussion. (How many time's have I said that in the entirety of this blog?)

4) What are you ridiculously good at? What are your precious gifts?
All aboard the humble train. Ridiculously good is a very strong set of words. I wouldn't say I'm RIDICULOUSLY good at anything. Though through professional credentials it would seem that I'm really good at two things: volleyball and chemistry. One of those is true. Personal credentials? None. I'm not ridiculously good at anything except maybe procrastinating, but not even really RIDICULOUSLY good at that because I seem to get shit done regardless. This question is not for the humble.

In terms of precious gifts... again, I don't know whether or not this is talking about possessions or talents. I keep a memory/collection box in my room to remind me of good times. I guess that's a precious gift. I think my super nintendo is also a precious gift. I don't have any talents that I would consider "precious." That seems really odd. These questions are odd.

5) Who do you look up to? Who are your mentors? Who inspires you? Why?
I look up to my parents a lot. They work really hard to provide for a family that doesn't seem like they appreciate them too much. I do though, just have crappy ways of showing it. Any accomplished scientist I can look up to. I used to have mentors, hopefully I've become someones's mentor at this time. I feel like I'm at a place where I don't necessary need a mentor anymore. I need to figure things out myself and learn about life accordingly.

6) When was the last time you massively over-delivered on something? What was it and why did you work so damn hard?
This year's NABA volleyball tournament. I don't ever remember recognizing that I threw out my arm and saying, let's keep going - I want to win. That was pretty intense, even for me when I look back at it. That's a massive over-delivery right there. Worth every second. The rest afterwards was a godsend. Probably my next thing is my master's thesis. Took a lot of time to work through and practice. A fear of presenting to my professors was conquered, and they were impressed as well. Really is a milestone in my life. I worked so damn hard for volleyball because it's what I go to do. I don't fly out to these places to have fun and vacation, though it is nice to find time for that. I came to play and I came to win. As for the thesis, that was really forced upon me. It was a good experience, though. I don't recall working academically that hard in a long time. Maybe ever.

7) When was the last time you were in a state of flow, in the zone and totally lost track of time? What were you doing?
I was playing video games. It's easy to lose track of time when a game immerses you so hard that you snap out of it knowing that you gotta eat something, or pee real bad. I think it's pretty awesome when that happens. An example when something like this is a bad thing is when you're kind of waking up and falling asleep on a weekend and before you know it, it's 3PM and your day is all gone. I hate that.

8) Imagine you won $158 million in the lottery. It's now three months later. How will you spend tomorrow?
Did I write a post about this? I'm too lazy to check. I'm assuming that if I had won that large sum of money, I would only end up with 80-90 million. There is an amazing comment on REDDIT that outlines what I should be doing with that large sum of money and I'm sure I would adhere to process. Put all my money in the right place, distribute to the family in a responsible manner, and invest. 3 months later. If this were asked on a weekday my easy answer for wat I would do tomorrow is go to work. Since it's Friday and the weekend approaches, knowing I have more than enough money to spend I'd probably sleep in and go out to eat somewhere. Additionally, I'd probably have a tournament somewhere so I'd go do that and probably buy something I wanted. BASICALLY what i'm trying to say here is that life doesn't change for me. Work, volleyball, and now the money just allows me to eat at fancier places, and buy fancier things. Hopefully at the end I'm still the same man.

9) What would you do if you knew you could not fail?
Love this question. So many options. Play professional volleyball. Open my own restaurant. Go for a PhD. Buy a lottery ticket? Get into game design. Apply for a job at Nintendo. Talk to people. Failing is an easy thing to do, and is so necessary to learn about life and your limits. This question is great for me because I lived a life being afraid of failure, which I don't think is all that uncommon. There are so many things I would've loved to do - and it is a shame that I don't get to see what could've been. Where I am now, though, is just fine because (see question 1).

Woo those questions are broad. Hopefully next time they get more interesting. Hopefully next time I get more interesting.

ta ta kids

>_< Story Time

I came across this really awesome story and I wanted to share it here so I don't have to go Google searching for it to find again. When I REDDIT, I couldn't help but feel some kind of emotional connection to the story - and I have trouble with emotions. So I guess that means this has to be a good story. Apparently this post got popular enough on Reddit that the NY Times picked it up. That version is a but more tame, here's the citation from the news source. Below is the original post on the site, much more natural in feeling. I'll follow up with a discussion afterward.
--------------

"Today You, Tomorrow Me" - Reddit user rhoner

Just about every time I see someone I stop. I kind of got out of the habit in the last couple of years, moved to a big city and all that, my girlfriend wasn't too stoked on the practice. Then some shit happened to me that changed me and I am back to offering rides habitually. If you would indulge me, it is long story and has almost nothing to do with hitch hiking other than happening on a road.

This past year I have had 3 instances of car trouble. A blow out on a freeway, a bunch of blown fuses and an out of gas situation. All of them were while driving other people's cars which, for some reason, makes it worse on an emotional level. It makes it worse on a practical level as well, what with the fact that I carry things like a jack and extra fuses in my car, and know enough not to park, facing downhill, on a steep incline with less than a gallon of fuel.

Anyway, each of these times this shit happened I was DISGUSTED with how people would not bother to help me. I spent hours on the side of the freeway waiting, watching roadside assistance vehicles blow past me, for AAA to show. The 4 gas stations I asked for a gas can at told me that they couldn't loan them out "for my safety" but I could buy a really shitty 1-gallon one with no cap for $15. It was enough, each time, to make you say shit like "this country is going to hell in a handbasket."

But you know who came to my rescue all three times? Immigrants. Mexican immigrants. None of them spoke a lick of the language. But one of those dudes had a profound affect on me.

He was the guy that stopped to help me with a blow out with his whole family of 6 in tow. I was on the side of the road for close to 4 hours. Big jeep, blown rear tire, had a spare but no jack. I had signs in the windows of the car, big signs that said NEED A JACK and offered money. No dice. Right as I am about to give up and just hitch out there a van pulls over and dude bounds out. He sizes the situation up and calls for his youngest daughter who speaks english. He conveys through her that he has a jack but it is too small for the Jeep so we will need to brace it. He produces a saw from the van and cuts a log out of a downed tree on the side of the road. We rolled it over, put his jack on top, and bam, in business. I start taking the wheel off and, if you can believe it, I broke his tire iron. It was one of those collapsible ones and I wasn't careful and I snapped the head I needed clean off. Fuck.

No worries, he runs to the van, gives it to his wife and she is gone in a flash, down the road to buy a tire iron. She is back in 15 minutes, we finish the job with a little sweat and cussing (stupid log was starting to give), and I am a very happy man. We are both filthy and sweaty. The wife produces a large water jug for us to wash our hands in. I tried to put a 20 in the man's hand but he wouldn't take it so I instead gave it to his wife as quietly as I could. I thanked them up one side and down the other. I asked the little girl where they lived, thinking maybe I could send them a gift for being so awesome. She says they live in Mexico. They are here so mommy and daddy can pick peaches for the next few weeks. After that they are going to pick cherries then go back home. She asks if I have had lunch and when I told her no she gave me a tamale from their cooler, the best fucking tamale I have ever had.

So, to clarify, a family that is undoubtedly poorer than you, me, and just about everyone else on that stretch of road, working on a seasonal basis where time is money, took an hour or two out of their day to help some strange dude on the side of the road when people in tow trucks were just passing me by. Wow...

But we aren't done yet. I thank them again and walk back to my car and open the foil on the tamale cause I am starving at this point and what do I find inside? My fucking $20 bill! I whirl around and run up to the van and the guy rolls his window down. He sees the $20 in my hand and just shaking his head no like he won't take it. All I can think to say is "Por Favor, Por Favor, Por Favor" with my hands out. Dude just smiles, shakes his head and, with what looked like great concentration, tried his hardest to speak to me in English:

"Today you.... tomorrow me."

Rolled up his window, drove away, his daughter waving to me in the rear view. I sat in my car eating the best fucking tamale of all time and I just cried. Like a little girl. It has been a rough year and nothing has broke my way. This was so out of left field I just couldn't deal.

In the 5 months since I have changed a couple of tires, given a few rides to gas stations and, once, went 50 miles out of my way to get a girl to an airport. I won't accept money. Every time I tell them the same thing when we are through:

"Today you.... tomorrow me."

-------------------------------
Nice. That story gets me ROCK HARD on an emotional level. Re-reading gets my eyes real watery, like a pussy getting ready for a double down serving of man meat. But let's get serious here.

I was rereading that story thinking about what I wanted to say. It hit me right around this line: "He conveys through her that he has a jack but it is too small for the Jeep so will need to brace it." Weird line to be inspired by, right? It reminded me of my father. Growing up, I'm sure this guy would've been my father. It doesn't help that we Filipino's are considered the "Mexicans of Asia." I mean I don't detest the stereotype but I'm not going to argue about that right now. Fact is, I imagined myself in this situation in the Philippines. This would happen in an instant, no problem in some of the rural areas. It kind of also made me realize what the factor was here: culture.

I'm going to say here that I am heavily generalizing the USA here- as the OP did in the beginning when commenting about his frustration with the lack of help. I know there is kindness out there. The fact is, here in the USA at least nowadays - we run on OUR time and we can't be bothered with random acts of kindness too often. I believe our culture is too involved with worrying about how the individual will get by and provide for those he/she is responsible for - including themselves. There's very little room for compassion for other people outside the 6° of separation. I find that a little disappointing. There's a lot of influence out there that leads us to believe that wasting our own time costs potential money to be earned. Personally, I don't believe to be too affected by this. Hell, it may not even be true - but it is just a suggestion. My own personal opinion on the topic is this: we won't help strangers because THAT MAN WILL KILL ME. I touched on this topic in my last post about general safety. I don't feel safe helping someone on the side of the road. So many stories about people getting shot, stabbed, kidnapped in the craziest way possible - I'm gonna be the next victim on that list all because I decided to be a nice guy and help a guy with his tire. Thanks America for instilling fear on such an exponential level that you've taken the kind spirit out of me. I'm more worried about myself and the fact that I  should assume the guy who CLEARLY needs any help he could get is going to murder me, put me in his never-broken-in-the-first-place car's trunk, rape me, chop me up into little pieces, and spread my parts across the state lines. Oh, but don't forget that'll he'll probably save one for himself to eat. Also he's black, because America. Also he plays video games where he clearly got the idea from, because America. Also he smoked weed, because America. You see where I'm headed here? That can be a whole different, more gritty topic. (Let's be honest, I'll never talk about it)

This was the guy I'm talking about, in case you were curious.

Let's say someone does pull over and help the guy in our present day culture. You know what I feel would be a small detail that would deviate from the story? The person who helps the guy change his tire would probably keep the money. I don't know what it is about this culture that's so entitled about the service we provide other people that we should be paid for it (god that sentence was atrocious, but I'm on a roll so I'm not gonna fix it). Like why can't we gear our efforts in a way that we don't seek constant reward for something that should be inherently expected of us? Being kind should not be rewarded with materials. Being kind should just BE. It's sad because I know I would probably keep the money if it were handed to me. For the very same reason: I helped this guy, I deserve this money. Sure you do, buddy - but don't be surprised/distraught that there will be times when that money is NOT offered. So what do you get out of it? The gratification of knowing that you did a good thing today? Psh. That ain't worth a dime.

I was looking for a funny picture to capture. Something along the lines of the word "kindess" spelled with dollar signs for the S's? (KINDNE$$ for the visually impaired). I came across this one and this infuriated me for some reason. You think you're doing a pretty neat Pinterest worthy thing, but I detest this so much. You're teaching your kids that kindness is rewarded with money. This kid will grow up helping the guy and in the end will stick his hand out asking for some kind of payment. Instead of having a goddamn pay it forward jar - just tell your kids to pay it goddamn forward with a high five or something. Or associate kindness by following up with an activity a child enjoys - so they associate kindness with a feeling rather than a payment. God, I'm going to be the worst parent.

This post is getting long. I just have one last thing to say. Always offer food when you can. I get that from my family and it's a great thing to do.

ta ta kids

>_< Something to Type About (14)

Holy crap! It's the return of a legacy? The New York Time's Best seller for "Shit No One Reads on the Internet" 2015... It's SOMETHING TO TYPE ABOUT! Volume 14. Hello everyone, It sure has been awhile - and it seems I've developed a new writing style since Something To Type About (13). To be honest I've been reading a lot of Cracked and found their blog style humor very entertaining, so I decided to pay homage to their brand by also writing in the same exact style. Also I'm very unoriginal when it comes to being original so there's that. An addendum: when I first started this series I was mainly using StumbleUpon to stumble upon (omg mind blow) things that I would end up ranting a little about throughout the day. I've recently learned that this service is no longer as SFW as I thought, so therefore, I've given all entertainment responsibilities for me and consequently this post and future posts thereafter... to Reddit.

(10:01 AM) So I actually had to do some work and it involved a cutter, basically a traditional rotating saw but the circle blade doesn't have teeth. I need to cut a sample for testing, but that's not the point. It got me thinking about general workplace safety. I know that sounds immediately boring but hear me out. It actually has more to do with the fact that lately, at least most of this year, I generally don't feel safe. Maybe at work, ironically, but walking about and passing people everyday I just feel like I'm going to rub the person the wrong way, or just give him/her a look that was misconstrued as threatening and - BAM. Dead. This world is filled with crazy people man, and I'm going to go out on a limb and hope they aren't the majority here. I skimmed a post questioning whether or not at any given moment you pass someone who was already planning to shoot up a place or murder something and decided that you weren't that person today. It's an interesting thought, isn't it? So many stories in that thread involving holding the door for someone on their way out of a convenient store or something and hours later on the news they find that the place was shot up or something. Alternatively just ignoring someone walking down the street that appeared sad or troubled you find that they had jumped off that bridge the two of you shared just moments ago. This is something coming from me: if you have a resting bitch face, spend your walks either looking straight ahead into nothing or looking down. Otherwise, if you happen to make eye contact with someone crossing your path - smile and just say hi and move on. Don't stare, no weird looks. Let's everyone just mind their own business while also giving them the courtesy of acknowledging that they exist in this world. Reminds me of a famous suicide story that mentions a person planning to jump off the Golden Gate, but wouldn't as long as during his walk to his destination someone would say hi to him. No one did. and he jumped. Don't be afraid to say hi to people if you happen to make eye contact with them. I'll coin this phrase: "H-eye contact." You just made h-eye contact. Say hi. That's clever. Trademark that. You heard it here first. We'll make millions. I'll make millions. But mostly I'll make millions.

(2:04 PM) So I opened up a new sponge just now and gave it a quick rinse and wrung it out. The thing was pre loaded with soap. WHAT THE HELL is that a THING?!

(3:38 PM) Reading up on some first date fuck ups. I don't have any fuck ups in particular but I've had some past dates that I look back on that make present day me cringe. This all happened in high school of course - relatively new to the whole relationship thing and actually getting into the nitty gritty of rounding all these so called "bases" that people talk about. I'm not going to go into too much detail but BASICALLY I was on a date with one of my exes, and 2 good friends of mine (lost touch with them but i'm sure we could pick it back up if we were ever to meet again). First trip was to watch a movie and during the middle or so of it was a kissing bonanza - missed about the last 1/4 of the movie. Next on the list was just hanging out at one of the guys' place. During the WHOLE ride there she and I are just going at it in the back seat. Looking back I THINK I knew what I was doing (not the kissing but the whole disrespectful PDA thing) but I don't think I had any way out since this chick was kind of aggressive and stopping might throw her into a "do you not like it?" tantrum. As O revisit this memory, I feel REALLY bad for my two friends in the front seats of that car. It must've been REALLY uncomfortable but maybe kinda funny to talk about with your other friends later on. God even typing this story out reliving this memory is making me cringe.

So that was good reintroduction to the series. I think I know how I'm going to approach these entries from now on. Basically I've become somewhat of a Reddit lurker. So anytime I have something to say whilst in a thread that I find interesting, instead of actually posting, I'll type it all up here. Oh the stories I will tell. Until next time.

ta ta kids.

>_< Let's Get Ranty (2)

I want to get these things off my chest. Mainly because these will most likely be going to a video and I'm just too lazy to finish this series I've been working on, so I'm kind of putting myself in a lock. So I want to at least have these ideas down before I forget, and I know I'm already starting to forget. I have only one a couple topics in my head right now. As soon as they're down, the less strain on my mind trying to remember them all the time.

Warm pee musk.

"Hey what's going on?" Has lost its meaning.

Napkin stacking

Holo  - Spice and Wolf is probably my soul mate. EDIT: I don't know what this was about, but I'm over it.
You're beautiful to cancer patients/disease people
You're a hero to people who served

Warm pee musk
I know I'm alienating a lot of my readers here, but this is something I had observed from time to time, and it bothers me every time it happens. Urinals, man. One of the best things about being a guy is the ability to pee standing up without having that pee dribble down my legs like delicious maple syrup dancing downward a beautiful pile of pancake legs.

But with great urinals, comes great responsibility and we penis wielders have developed a number of unwritten rules based on public bathroom etiquette. This isn't what this is about however (but it could be in a future post?). For just general background purposes, urinals are vertical wall toilets. You pee into the wall and your piss dribbles down into a small pool and you flush it away afterward - though THAT concept is lost for some people. Again, many drawbacks to this system, but it's fast and efficient. This part of the rant is for when you occupy a urinal right after someone uses it. Now this will happen if the person didn't flush at all or the the urinals flushing mechanism is too weak to wash the piss all the way through. So picture this - you approach the urinal and ready your member. Then you feel it. A small pocket of warmer than ambient temperature circulated around your crotch. It's the pee musk. The warm pee musk, I hate it. The warm air begins to rise and you get a quick whiff of what the persons pee smelled like before you. It's a terrible experience and it happens way too often. The worst part is that it can't be helped. You don't know which urinal was JUST used coming in. You have to follow the one stall rule and sometimes the pee musk is forced upon you. You gotta stand there and soak it all in while you do your business, and the mix of your two pee smells is something straight out of a 50 shades of grey limited golden shower edition novel. A bond is created by the previous Number one-er and the pee stars align, For the next 7-15 seconds it's you and the ghost of another mans penis liquid.

This is why after I'm done peeing I'll hang around ;) awhile just to make sure I prevent future piss takers from taking my musk. #peeitforward

"Hey what's going on?" Has lost its meaning.
Let me explain first. Have you ever had an interaction, where you're in a casual environment and you're walking down the hall and you see a person you know or have met before on the other side of the hall. You both are aware of each others presence and the faster you two come towards each other, the faster your brain races to figure out which kid of greeting is appropriate for the upcoming interaction. You're secretly dying for them to say hi first, or maybe you can just get off easy with a smile or nod. So the time has come, you've come within speaking distance and of course there are three options:

1) No one says hi by either complete lack of recognition, or a slight form of recognition (a smile or nod) and you move on with your life.

2) You say hi first.

3) They say hi first.

Still with me? Alright, so let's take option 2 and 3 and expand why I'm ranting in the first place. Maybe it's just here at work?. Actually, a majority of this happens in the workplace. I can see it happen at a high school or on campus or something... anyway. Recently when I've been said hi to, or am the one saying hi, I get a the same response, "Hey, how are ya?" or "hey, what's going on?" To which of course I respond, "I'm good/nothing much, you?" And that's that. We continue walking, go our own separate lives, until we meet again.

Anything wrong with that situation to you? No? Well let me clear it up: the person never responded to my damn question! I want to know how they are, just like they asked me how I am. What I don't understand is, why ask? Has this phrase also become so casual that even the question answered need not apply? Are we just walking too fast to make really small talk? It's not that hard to say "I'm fine, thank you" as you walk away. Even if you're not fine. Just straight up lie! But don't leave me hangin' like that! Why ask the question in the first place? It leaves me in a confused state as I walk away, it makes me think the person isn't at all fond of me. Pretty hurtful stuff.

Please tell me about your day... please...

Napkin Stacking

You smug little bastard.

This is a quick one. Who the FUCK thought it would be a great idea to stack napkins the way they are in local fast food napkin dispensers? I hate when sometimes they're over packed and I just end up pulling and ripping a part of it off. I have to repeat this process until the dispenser is loose enough not to give me anymore napkin bits. Sometimes I end up sticking a part of my finger in there and just taking a stack of napkins to bring back - which is fine until you have to deal with the stack that's on your table. Napkins are stacked in an over-under-over-under type way that when you reach for the top napkin, you get a piece of the second napkin because they're folded into each other. So you have to do this awkward "shake the excess off" thing just use you're goddamn napkin. Annoying as hell. Thinking rationally - I get it, it allows more napkins to be packed in and also helps with the whole dispensing thing - pulling out one will leave the next one sticking out cuz you pulled that shit out slightly also.

But fuck if you didn't do such a shitty job with it.

/rant

The other topics are a bit on the serious side so I'll go over them another time.

ta ta lods.

>_< A Passing

It's been an interesting few months. A couple posts ago I rambled about the death of a co-worker. I felt angry and confused, disappointed at big business. A post later I rambled about current events and then nothing for next year or so. I'm not gonna say I didn't have much to write about. It fact, I've been wanting to post many topics on my mind but I guess my heart was just never really in it. Back to the topic here. Was there a topic? Here's the topic - death. Again. Listen, it's not a great topic - I totally get that - but remember when I said my heart wasn't in it? There's something about this time that makes me want to talk about it.

Let's hit this on the surface before we get any deeper. Satoru Iwata, CEO of Nintendo passed away recently via complications of his cancer. Everyone has been well aware of his condition as he's missed the last E3's to take care of himself. Anyway, I found out about his passing during dinner, and it kind of put me in a quiet mood for the rest of the night. No, I didn't know him - never met him. Why did learning about his passing have an effect on me? What was his influence on my life? Nothing. Directly, at least. It's no surprise to anyone that I'm a die hard Nintendo fan. I wouldn't necessarily go out of my way to shut anyone up if an XBOX vs PS vs Nintendo debate started happening (though I probably would've in the past), but I'm more of a let me like what I like type of guy, and I like Nintendo. A lot. Memories of games played on the Super Nintendo are some of the clearest memories I have of my childhood. I remember leaving the SNES in the Philippines for my cousins to have - when I got it back in my pre-teen years, I had the experience all over again. It was something my sister and I could bond over. Something my friends and I could bond over - and that evolved through the future consoles: N64 with mario kart, mario tennis, mario party, pokemon stadium, hexen - Gamecube with super smash brothers and super smash brothers and super smash brothers. When the Wii came out I was immersed in playing single player games and really developing my craft and lore for Zelda games. Even mores o with the Wii U and more. But I digress. Playing through all those games, learning how to be with people, learning who I am, learning how I should be, all of it could be credited to Iwata. It's strange to say - but his influence in my life was - still is - heavy even if indirectly. That's why I got quiet. The company and I will continue just being, but it's interesting that such a man could put me in a sad mood. Enough on that.

My father's father (my paternal grandfather) passed away recently as well. This is where the differences are interesting. Similar to the previous passing of a grandfather, I was largely unaffected... for now. I mentioned the idea a few posts ago, it isn't the idea of his death that saddens me, it's the idea that my father will be sad that saddens me. My grandfather was not around too much in my adult life, but I certainly did see him and was influenced by him a lot more. I'm not here to play favorites - it was just a fact. Whenever I went home to visit the two, one had wi-fi and the presence of cousins/kids my age and the other didn't have wi-fi. It's such a millennial thing to say, but it's easy to admit that being at one place was easier than the other, so it was natural that I just happened to see him more than the other. Anyway, I have very fond memories of this grandfather. I enjoyed his charisma, confidence, and leadership abilities. He could get anyone to listen to him. He enjoyed setting me up with random women. He always assured me that I was his favorite (true or not I guess that's just what grandparents do). I only wish to have as many accomplishments as you - including raising a son as well as you have. Here's my question. Why didn't I go quiet when I found out? Why was I less affected? This man was family. I still haven't shed a goddamn tear about it. My mom and sis flew home for his funeral. Why didn't I go? I tell everyone that I didn't want to go home because my last visual representation of him was a good one. 80th birthday celebration. He was happy, laughing, strong. I was pressured to come home before his dying moments. I didn't want to see him like that. I'm terrible at conveying emotion (obviously). Everyone would walk around looking miserable, crying, sad and I would just be sitting there seemingly unaffected. I don't want my family to think I don't care. I just don't mourn the traditional way of mourning. After he passed, I didn't want to seem like I should just drop everything and go to his funeral. I didn't do the same for my other grandfather - what makes him any more important? HIS WI-FI? Nah man, that ain't cool. The fact of the matter is, although I did see him more than the other, he still wasn't around enough his passing to have an effect on me. Cold hard truth. I am sad that he's gone. I'm not going to cry about it (yet). I'm sad that my father now knows what it feels like to have a father pass away. I'm sad that one day I will know the feeling.

He gave me his business card, my grandfather. A few years back. On the back he wrote "together, we'll change the world." Man you were pretty cool.

-----------------------

Death is strange, isn't it? It effects everyone differently and yet we as a society are pressured to feel extreme sadness to show we care. I guess this is just my way of showing that I care. To both of you great gentlemen (great in their own ways), please rest happily in your afterlife. I'm not one to believe in ghosts or anything like that - but it'd be pretty cool if I got a random 1-UP one day during a video game session, or if some random chick walked by telling me that you told her that she should get to know me. I'm not interested Tatay, but thanks anyway.

ta ta kids