>_< The Election

Now that this whole thing is "over," I can finally start ranting about the whole shit show that was this election. I was thinking about what to type up all throughout my commute to work and I couldn't transition well between them but I need to get it all out regardless if my thoughts here look organized or not. Let's go!

SIDE NOTE: Trying my best not to mention candidates because I don't think it matters who would've won at this point - none of my opinions on the matter changes.

Some of my favorite things to come out of the election is listening to everyone eat their words because their candidate. My favorite culprit is the lovely folks at Elvis Duran and the Morning Show. Been listening to them for awhile becasue I like their topics and also like to talk shit about how much I hate them. It's a weird relationship. Anyway a quick message for you guys: I get it. You have the duty to maintain no bias and keep neutral commentary so you don't get fired. Good job. But don't you dare pander to your audience by not telling anyone who you voted for. You know DAMN well if your candidate won the election, the whole tone of today's show would be different. Instead, you have to sit there and pretend (and struggle at it) to "not care" about the result. Stating such generic things akin to giving "thoughts and prayers." It's pathetic, and I love it. Everyone on the show supporting each other about well informed they were about the election becasue they were "flip flopping" between the candidates? Load of bullshit. I love the 3 minute bit about "having a discussion" and "moving on" and all the bullshit... it sustains me. I'm getting giddy just typing about it. To hear all of you struggle because your candidate didn't win. Hilarious. The kicker was one guy who said he'd be off social media today because blah blah blah. BITCH, you know you're off it becasue you don't want to read about all the new POTUS cuz you SALTY AS HELL. As previously stated though, I get it. You're a radio show that reached a good amount of people in this country. March to the tune of iHeartRadio and just continue to make your money pissing off the least amount of people. Dance, monkey, dance.

Another wonderful thing coming out of this election are all the "I'm moving to Canada" jokes. A wonderful FB status I want to post (but won't becasue I'm a passive aggressive bitch and hate confrontation so I just type it up on the blogger knowing it's a safe space for opinions and random ass rants) goes something like this:

"Looking forward to lesser traffic and dumb asses on the road because everyone is moving to Canada... wait what? They're all just a bunch of pussies because they can't handle change? #yourvotedidntmatter"

And we can get to that last hashtag in a bit. Got a half-chub just thinking about it. Anyway, I've been hearing that same goddamn joke and seeing the same goddamn meme about it for the better part of 2 years or at least since the wonderful country chose our 2 party representatives. Can we please for once make sure to follow through with your request to move to Canada? It's really crowded and I would love for your bitch ass to get out of here because we con't need people who can't handle a change in guard. Guess what? The same thing happened 8 years ago when a black man became our new POTUS. AND YOU'RE ALL STILL HERE DESPITE THAT FACT THAT I WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO A BUNCH OF YOU LEAVING BACK THEN TOO! Oh but hey, fast forward 8 years later and you're all on his dick... most of you anyway.

Enough with that moving to another country joke. Just do it. Get out of here becasue I'm tired of it.

Next topic. Media saturation. It's really surprising to see how much people are surprised and disappointed with the outcome of this election. I can't lie, I was in a bit of a shock as well. I think it's because if you look at the support and the way a certain candidate was covered on various media outlets - it almost seems like we were hypnotized to be swayed one way. The surrounding states here chose one way. A majority of my friends, co-workers, were supporting the same way, and bad mouthing the other candidate as well. I became engulfed in all this "support" and when I woke up this morning I felt some surprise at the result. It's an interesting thing to think about because if I had lived in a certain area I feel like I might've been feeling the same way, but for the other candidate. Which is probably why I wanted to type this blog up in the first place. All my previous complaints mentioned above arise from the face that "our candidate" lost. And it's hilarious to think that if I had spent the 23ish years of my life in the US somewhere else - I would be feeling a completely different way, maybe. Just goes to show how powerful the media is when it comes to things like this. What we see and don't see, what we hear and don't hear about. Food for thought.

It's funny too how people compared how "easier" or how much better it was with some past presidents. For my generation it was Clinton. "OMG when Bill Clinton was president everything was so much easier." Bitch, it was easier becasue all we had to do was go to school, take naps, and eat. Like fucking duh it was easier back then.

AND FINALLY. THE LAST THING ON MY GODDAMN MIND. THE VERY WORST THING ABOUT THE ELECTION. My vote. Rather, the lack of my vote. That's right. Didn't vote. You read that right. And here's why!

I'm soooooooooo tired of people telling me to go vote. I have never been convinced, and I will never be convinced to go vote. I need to kind of reveal where I stand if you haven't already figured it out, but I'm from New Jersey. Now that you know that you can retrace which candidates I've been talking about, but still doesn't the change the fact none of my opinions on the matter change. ANYWAYYY... let's take a look at the results for good 'ol NJ. I'm too lazy to take pictures and make the results look pretty so please take my word for it. Source is from News 12 New Jersey's website.

POTUS
Hillary Clinton - 1,947,650
Donald Trump - 1,489,918

Amendment 1 - Expand Gambling
Yes - 2,199,981
No - 632,287

Amendment 2 - Transportation Funds
Yes - 1,488,317
No - 1, 290,978

ANNNND the other candidates, I honestly couldn't give two shits about. Let me tell you where I'm going with this. Stop fucking telling me that my vote matters. Take any one of those numbers from every results and add 1 to them. The winner and choice is still the goddamn same. I've been hearing it all freaking month or two, maybe three. GO VOTE! YOUR VOTE MATTERS! FUCK. YOUR. BULLSHIT. It clearly does not. And I hate you and your arguments about why I should. Some of my favorite gems...

"If you don't then you're letting down your country."
Did you not SEE who this country chose as options for POTUS?

"People fought for your rights to vote"
Yes, and they also fought for my rights to wake up, go to work, and make money to provide for myself and the people I care about. Which is way more important.

"Not voting is like voting for (insert candidate name here)"
My personal favorite. No it's not, and you're a dumb ass for even considering it.

Again, I get it. If everyone in this world thought like me, then maybe it could make a difference. Blah blah blah the millions who think just like you could've really changed the outcome of the election! Listen, did it ever occur to you that people like me don't vote because we just don't care? Like, at all? Let's slap some real talk here. The new year will come around, a new POTUS will sit in the White House. Great. What are you going to do? You're going to get up, go to work, pay for everything you need to, and do everything THE GODDAMN SAME SO YOU CAN KEEP YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ALIVE. It goes with all change. This recent gas hike in this state. "UGHH GAS IS SO EXPENSIVE NOW!" Oh okay, guess you won't buy gas anymore. Guess you won't go to work anymore, guess you're just gonna stay indoors or walk/bike everywhere for the rest of your goddamn life?

Things change. Some big, some little. But you have one job to do. Wake up and do you. Do you so much that you can wake up the next day and do you again.

Also, ever tickle your thoughts about the fact that maybe people won't vote becasue they are uneducated about the candidates policies and sides? You just want someone to blindly go into the polls checking off bubbles like a goddamn ScanTron test you didn't study for? There are other reasons why people don't vote, and maybe you could educate yourself on that first before you try getting the non voters to convert.

Man this election has me in a tizzy. Gotta love the outcome though. Interesting how this wonderful country will play out in the future. SPOILER ALERT: it'll stay the fucking same. Or maybe we'll get a neat wall out of it too.

EDIT: Some perspective, and GOOD THINGS to come out of social media. I quote the following:

"Everyone needs to stfu and relax! No one is gonna throw you out, you're not gonna live on the streets (unless you do already)... I doubt your life would even change that much. Can everyone save the drama for their mamas? I get it, you're terrified of how racist, sexist, blah blah he is. You're never gonna meet him!!! He will never know you exist. He cannot impose alleged racism/sexism on new laws or anything. He will not impact your life. You'll live, I promise. And if you think he was the only president who held such views.. HAHAHA. Boy, are you naive. I'd be more shocked if one of them WASN'T a bigot. At least he's true to himself lol.

If people choose to be racist because they're "inspired" by him --- then you need to blame their parents- not him!

Y'all need God.... Amen."

"This is the last thing I'm going to say about this topic.

Don't tell marginalized groups of people how to react to this election. Many of us have spent our entire lives knowing that prejudice and hate for us exists. We fucking live with it. But if you have not lived through the past year as one of these people, you will not understand how important this election was. Latinxs , Black People, Muslims , the LGBTQA community, so many more people. Listen, we know some of y'all fucking hate us for simply existing. You, personally, reading this? Maybe not. Guess what? Someone you know and love probably genuinely does. I can say that with confidence. Want to know why? Because of last night.

The news that SO many people in this country fucking hate us and wish we weren't here or happy isn't new to us. It's just so overwhelming to have to see. It's a heavy feeling. So don't tell us how to feel today. Thanks. Bye."

On the first quote... it was good until the God and Amen part. So just focus on the first part of it.

Nice on the second post. I think I needed to read that. Def slowed my heart rate a bit. Good on you, America.

ta ta kids

>_< Things I'm Too Pussy to Say Vol. 1

New series. Short format. But it'll give some substance to this dying blog becasue I'm too lazy to rant about bigger things. I come across some ridiculous things on social media (mostly facebook) but I'm too pussy to write my own comment to rebuttal in fear of sounding like an idiot or too pussy to deal with the retaliation that could potentially be thrown back at me. So I'm gonna do the passive aggressive thing and show them here.

Reply: Because it is our right as AMERICANS to CHOOSE NOT to stand for our NATIONAL ANTHEM. Just like it's your RIGHT to BE an OVERSENSITIVE PRICK ABOUT IT, but that's cool you do you. Also your caps lock or shift key is broken. Bitch.

Reply: Unless you wanna store all the money you have under your bed, it's the least you can do for having them hold your money with the means of accessing said money via shitty plastic card/chip hybrid. But yea I agree that those fees suck.

Comment: How the HELL can you tell if he got yo nose and daddy's lips? Kinda bullshit is that? Telling this baby it's gonna be an athlete like shit the kid ain't even living his life yet and you're living it for him! Fuck is wrong with all of you.

ta ta kids

>_< Let's Get Ranty (4)

Dear lord some parts of our world are crumbling really fast. DISCLAIMER: speaking from initial thoughts and reactions to some of the news lately. I didn't do a lot of any research, I'm just going from what I heard and saw. Is that research? Ok. I didn't do any in depth research. Anyway let's move on.

There's been some shootings. It's news, but sadly it's happening so much nowadays it shouldn't even be called NEWs. A man got shot in Baton Rouge because there was a call that he was armed and pointing his gun at people. 2 officers took him down and one decided to shoot the guy dead. That's an on the surface report right there, I'm not going into the details until later. Another man was shot during a routine traffic stop for a broken tail light. As he reached for his ID, he was shot. Alright. Here we go. Opinion time.

The guy in Baton Rouge. If that call were in fact true and he drew his weapon at someone, then yes he's a threat. His firearm was definitely on him cuz they fished it out of his pocket. Ok, good. The chance was there. Watching the video, there is a general consensus (among the comments) that he was, in fact, adequately subdued. So what's the problem here? The story goes that he was reaching for his pocket and that's what started everything. You hear 2 shots, then 4 more. There, in my opinion, is my problem. I don't know anything about guns. I don't know, and would continue to like to not know, what it's like to get shot. When you fire 2 shots on a man that is subdued on the floor, I think you're good. Why fire 4 more? Does the human body release adrenaline after getting shot first so you have some kind of burst of energy to retaliate momentarily? Who knows, but that's what I imagine the last 4 shots were for and of course I am very open minded so I would love to hear a valid explanation for the extra shots.

I saw a video just now of an officer (or at least some kind of expert in that he knows more than me on firearms) show that you CAN indeed shoot from your pocket. I don't really think that was ever a question, but he made the video not to defend the officers, but to make a point that it's possible. We shouldn't all be jumping to conclusions, as it's not our place. It isn't right to just feel for the deceased (but it's really easy to do so), we don't know what's going through the mind of an officer responding to a call knowing that there's a man he potentially has to see and confront that has a gun somewhere on him. It's a tough call. How do I feel about THIS situation? Not sure. I can see both ways. I neither defend nor condone what happened, but I understand it and acknowledge that there's a problem on both sides.

The guy in Minnesota. The big news here is that the witness immediately started live streaming after the incident to cover themselves from any future events. As the story goes, the officer was told beforehand that the driver is armed, and is licensed to carry. As he reached for his ID, that's when the whole thing went down. Alright. I thought I had a pretty good opinion here, but as I typed that previous statement something clicked. Why the HELL would you tell an officer that you have a gun on you, when all he wanted was your paperwork for a traffic stop? Why wouldn't your reach for your paperwork as soon as you were asked for it?

"License and registration, please"
"Just so you know, I have a gun and I'm licensed to carry it."
"Uh... okay."

Where do you think this cop's mind is at now? If this is the situation that's happened, then this story just got a lot more conflicted for me. Now I'm at a loss of words. Why wouldn't you just give the cop your damn papers? When he looks you up, he'll probably see that you can carry or whatever the fuck. I dunno what comes up when cops you look up. Would that have changed the situation? Hard to say. By the way the woman was detained for the rest of the night, and also I assume their daughter was in the back seat. That last bit is important. Anyway, this story didn't really bother me until I saw some random dude on facebook post the following image:

Too. Many. Periods. Argument. Invalid.

First of all, fuck your periods. I had to read that shit like fucking Darth Vader. Here's the problem with this picture, and eventually this whole situation. Generalizing. Whoever this random dude is, you need to fix your shit. THEY? Really? It was one officer. One incident. It's people like you who post shit like this that continue to instill fear. Because of what ONE cop did, and because of your stupid "look at me I care and I have an opinion shitpost" the people who are stupid enough to read that and side with you now think the whole police department in Minnesota - nay - the WORLD fired a goddamn gun with a child in the backseat. I wish I were brave enough to confront you. You need to step back and treat this like an isolated incident. I agree that there is a problem. I don't have a solution, but posting stuff like that doesn't help.

Here's what's fucked up about this whole thing. Social media. Trigger happy keyboard warriors (like myself I guess) are up in arms and ready to scream racism. Gun control. Punishment. Riot. What makes me mad is that in x amount of time, this whole thing will fade away - until the next incident and we're all reminded of it again. Nothing will change. We thought it would change with the first incidents and we got body cams, which was a surprisingly good first step. Then we got massacred, now this, and even now reactions to this (I think some cops died in a protest in Texas). We all need to calm down because let's face it. Nothing will change. If change comes, embrace it. We don't have the power we think we have. At least not effectively. Not this way.

I'm not angry about the incidents. I'm angry about the way people react to these incidents. I'm angry that you can get away with showing sympathy and empathy just by joining the hashtag. I'm tired of hearing about your thoughts and prayers. Those who have power to change should use it. It's a terrible reality, but I don't have the power to change. Nor do you. Stop pretending like you do. Stop pretending like you care. Stop feeling like you did something because #yournamehere. Grieve. Gather information, FROM BOTH SIDES. Understand the situation, and move on. No amount of thoughts and prayers will change anything.

ta ta kids

An addendum. You notice that talking about these stories I didn't even mention anything about the people or officers being black or white? But you painted the picture yourself anyway. Also probably you've seen pictures or whatever I'm just trying to be deep here.

>_< #HBDJS28 in Vegas

So I had this thought. I like to document my trips and put them on YouTube. I'm literally SO MANY TRIPS behind schedule that putting in new trip videos is quite hard because I tend to forget the minor fun details here and there and I just cant convey a good enough story on video. To fix this mistake I plan to document my trips by text as early as possible, so I can go back to them as notes when the videos eventually come up. So here are my notes and thoughts about my recent trip to Las Vegas, NV to celebrate a friends 28th birthday.

Thursday, July 23, 2016
Our flight was at 8 in the morning. The plan was to have me pick everyone up at a central location, head off to work where I could leave my car and take the train to the airport. There were some late arrivals and I had to stop by and get cash from the bank. I arrived relatively on time, but there was some talk on grabbing breakfast. So yes we missed our train. The next one was going to be in an hour, which I found kind of odd but hey just our luck.

To remedy the situation, we all split an Uber from the train station to the airport where we delighted the driver with talks of gossip girl and other TV shows. From there we breezed through TSA and caught our flight to our first layover in Minneapolis, Minnesota. There we found out that our transfer flight was delayed an hour. Bummer. So we decided to grab some lunch in the airport while we wait (which in retrospect was a bad idea and we could've saved that to take a trip to In N Out). I got a chicken wasabi salad wrap and a chocolate coconut cupcake. Our gate changed. Bummer. While we waited at our new gate, a friend ordered orange creamsicle-type shots from the bar. It was definitely more alcohol than orange creamsicle. But it did good to lift the spirit of the group.

When we landed in Vegas we went to baggage claim to retrieve some checked bags. I proceeded to go to Starbucks to get a "you are here" mug edition for Las Vegas. We went towards the car rental area where a friend is a member of a certain company - gave us permission to just go to the lot and take any car we wanted. We were eyeing these large infinities that we eventually decided not to take as the back seats were a bit tight. A rep found a Ford Expedition and we took that right away. The drive to the resort was quick, although we did get a bit lost getting out of the airport. Actually, we had to drive back in to pick up another friend coming in. We got to the resort and were told our room wasn't ready yet. I actually don't remember what happened, but as we were leaving we got told our room was in fact ready (that privilege). So we unpacked and waited for some stragglers to arrive. We changed into trunks and hung around by the pool. I found out I wasn't very tan that day.

It was hot.

After some tanning and a quick dip we prepared ourselves for dinner and Rock of Ages. We planned to go a buffet when a HUGE CROWD OF WHITE PEOPLE JUST WALTZED THE FUCK IN. So we had Vietnamese instead. I got roasted duck. Actually this food was delicious. But it had better be since it was kinda pricey.

Quack.

After dinner we lined up to go see Rock of Ages. We were a large group so we were chosen to take a picture at some area with a fancy background. We sat down and got moved over a bit since one person decided to buy a solo ticket t the table that had an extra seat. He seemed happy. A bit creepy and so totally drunk by the end of the show. We all ordered a drink and I finished up pretty fast with no effect, but I cant say the same for the birthday boy.

It was a great show. Great acting and amazing voices. The female lead took a bit of getting used to to look at, however. Must've been the stripper seen that did it. Male lead looked like Sebastian Stan. Additionally, I kept getting shit because one of the comedic male roles seemed to remind everyone of me. Flattering, really! I don't remember much after the show but I must've passed out since I was so exhausted. EDIT: we stopped by a 7-11 to pick up some snack for our road trip to Antelope Canyon. We had planned to drive all the way to Antelope Canyon for a tour and also see Horseshoe Bend. Departure time was 2AM...

Friday, July 24, 2016
The drive there was a bit of a blur. Sincere props to my friend for driving all the way through. I gotta be honest though I was kind of PTSD'ing because every time I fell asleep and the drive would hit the off road bumps, I would kind of wake up in fear that the car would be losing control (I was recently in an accident). So I was a bit restless. We arrived at our destination about an hour early so we parked by a supermarket where we proceeded to stretch, eat some breakfast and apply suntan lotion. Most of us switched to sneakers since we knew we were going to be hiking a bit. Our tour guide Colby was pretty good. Knew all the right spots and angles to take inside the canyon to get beautiful pictures. Apparently blew everyone's minds by introducing them to the vertical panorama.

It's a candle. Or a butt plug.

The canyon itself was neat. There were a bunch of daddy long legs which I haven't seen around in Jersey for a long time so that was refreshing. On the exit there was a spot on the rocks where people had carved their names and stuff. As well as some tumble weed that was immediately used to pretend we had antlers... and something about mating season.

After getting back in town we found a place nearby to eat. Delicious stuff. It had kind of a diner motif. I had something called the "spicy tortilla" and a peach cobbler a la mode. The thing was basically a huge, un-closed burrito, filled with hash browns, eggs, peppers, and chorizo - topped with cheese. I couldn't finish all of it and there was just a tiny bit left. It probably didn't help that I put all the hot sauce over it either. How you gonna call something spicy when it's not spicy. Psh. I learned later on that this was a terrible decision. But we'll get to that later.

The drive to Horseshoe bend wasn't that bad I believe. But when we finally did arrive it was approaching the afternoon so the heat was just a little bit unbearable. There was about a 1.5 mile hike to the view and the people there had made sure everyone had a bottle of water before walking out. How nice. I had actually read about a bunch of people dying from heat exhaustion before going on the trip so I made sure I was ready for it. The hike to the site wasn't bad at all - downhill. It made for some pretty rewarding photos.

They call it horseshoe bend because this was the site where they found out in order to make shoes for horses, you had to bend the metal stuff.

The hike uphill back to the car wasn't terrible, but we stopped to rest halfway just in case. We had originally planned to go see the grand canyon as well, but the timing was going to be off so we decided to push it to the next day as our schedule was just planning to sleep in. Our long drive back was where I had some trouble. I needed to poop. Badly. I knew I was going to have to leaving the restaurant but it would hit like a wrecking ball as SOON as we hit the area of the road where nothing existed. I had informed the driver that I need to stop to poop at the next one but we had to have passed 4 or 5 places which were each like 10-15 minutes apart before we actually stopped at one. I was kinda being polite, saying "no rush" and stuff like that, but I was dying. I broke out in like a feverish state and I developed goosebumps like I've never seen before. I don't even know how but I managed to fall asleep for a little bit to pass the time before arriving at the stop. When I got there I went straight to the bathroom at let myself explode. Politely. I made sure to flush every spurt. And the only expel with someone else had flushed or turned on the sink or hand dryer to mitigate the sound. It was so satisfying. Made it the rest of the trip back, falling asleep for pretty much all of it.

I woke up to some drama on the phone so I dealt with it a bit while everyone got ready to go to the pool again for round two. Actually, we had planned on going to the lazy river but a young girl informed us that someone had pooped in it and they had to close it that day to clean it. Bummer. How could she have known these details anyway...

We got a spot poolside where we partook in some drinks and waded in the shallow end. We hovered around the water volleyball court and eventually it was freed up for us to use. It was a pretty good time, and great for me cuz my knees have been terrible to me lately. The ball was some cheap replica of the official ball and it was really heavy. Bummer. After some good play we went back up to prepare for our next event: Cirque de Soleil: ONE (tribute to Michael Jackson). We had gotten checked out of our room by accident and none of our keys worked. They checked in a nother couple before realizing their mistake and got put into a different room. Very scary, very frustrating.

Before the show we actually ate a buffet. Not a great decision. Good food though, I had about 3 plates and a dessert plate. Personal favorites were the Swedish meatballs and the panko crusted salmon. There was this desert which was basically under-cooked brownie with marshmallows all over it. Delicious. And a key lime pie that was WAY too tart. Bummer.

The show was great. Remember the second not great decision? The buffet gave me a serious case of the itis. There were some parts of the show that was just literally a narrator telling a bed time story in a dark room with lights resembling stars. And they were playing MJ's ballads that I didn't really know. I must've twitch-slept like 50 times before actually waking up for some of the songs I recognized. I personally liked Man in the Mirror, Black and White, and I think it was Billie Jean that played when the dancers were just in the dark with light up suits.

We got out of the show and I needed to take part 2 of my dump - so I did that while the group bought the souvenir pictures and took some more photos. Before entering the show we had taken note of some bars and clubs in the casino. We decided to go to them after the show. I was worried some of them wouldn't let a few of us in since we were wearing shorts, but it was all good. We started out at this lounge area where we all bought our round of drinks. Eventually we made to the bar/club area where I bought everyone a blowjob at midnight. But really it was for the birthday boy.

THE DRINK. PERVS.

After that we went to the dance floor where we danced for like 2 or 3 hours before we headed back to the resort. I think I got hit on by someone. Either way, that night was pretty fun.

Saturday, July 25, 2016
We slept in, of course. Eventually we all got up and got ready to go to the Grand Canyon, West Rim. We got Denny's for breakfast. Drove by the hoover dam, but I didn't see it. Stopped by this really interesting gas station that was... alien themed. During the drive we got a call from the hotel rep refunding us some money from the room problem. We stopped by a scenic spot where we took a couple pictures and then we finally got to the Grand Canyon area. Apparently it was part of the Native American land and not the national park so it was handled a little differently. We had to buy ticked for a bus that shuttled us around the various areas. The first stop was a small village where they had some small activities, lasso-ing, quick draw firing, horseshoes. Took one of my favorite group pictures by a statue of a horse. Next stop was the sky walk. Took some panoramas beforehand because we weren't allowed that equipment on the skywalk.

ECHOOOOOOOOOOO

The skywalk was very entertaining. Scared my a bit and I muttered something about my balls tingling to the photographer and he had a great time taking our photos. Should've repaid him by taking one with him, but that bright idea came too little too late. The last stop was guano point. Looked like poop but the view from the top was amazing. We actually lost track of time and so we pushed our dinner reservation at this steakhouse from 7:30 to 9. It took a little long for everyone to get ready. Dinner was expensive, but the food was good. Had a steak, lobster, and shrimp trio with some Reisling to drink. Got some type of caramel chocolate bomb for dessert. Good conversation and a wonderful dinner all around. With the meal at the steakhouse came free access to their rooftop bar/club so we hung around there for a bit after dinner. Not gonna lie, there were some ratchet people up there. Some bachelorettes, some graduates, some middle aged women. But hey, when in Vegas, right?

We had the idea to pregame before actually going out clubbing, but it didn't really fit into our schedule. So we diced to drive back to our room and stop by as liquor store to pregame before heading out again. I changed clothes into something more comfortable. The pregame was fun, but one of the travelers stayed behind as it was kind of late. Tbh I would've too if I didn't find second energy in all the sugary drinks. Plus the environment was a bit awkward because the drive to the liquor store was a bit irritating. I felt bad for the driver. She was a trooper. Again, mad respect.

After the pregame we headed to the gay club the birthday boy was requesting, where the cover charge for the club included a drink voucher. Neat. Got 1 or two drinks and danced the night away. Guy on the stripper pole were good looking. The attendees at the club were not, to be perfectly honest. Still the song choices were good but the DJ was not so good. Transitioning between songs was pretty much a mood killer. Something hilarious happened on the way back to our car, but I can't exactly remember what it was. We got back and passed out pretty easily.

Sunday, July 26, 2016
We caught our flight ~ 30 mins before boarding. Had some Popeyes beforehand. It was a bit stressful leaving because we left 2 sleepyheads behind to make sure they checked out on time. Additionally, the lines for checking bags and TSA seemed endless - but in the end I guess it wasn't that bad. We flew Southwest. It was terrible. You don't get assigned seats. Instead you board in some order and fill in the seats like a bus. Our group of 4 managed to save a trio of seats and I was stuck sitting next to strangers. I didn't mind since it was the same for another on our way there. The lady sitting next to me was grotesquely obese, so I did my best to fall asleep often and keep busy.

We landed, got the baggage, and hitched the AirTrain to the train stop, though I dramatically missed the first AirTrain out because of my lack of good judgement on people. One of the train workers gave me some shit for it. Good times. We caught the train back to my car where we proceeded to finish the trip with another buffet dinner.

Thoughts
The birthday boy had said that if you ever have the chance to set something up like this with your closest friends, that you should do it. I agree. Though I would probably go to another friends birthday rather than having the main focus on me. Either way, if you ever read this, thank you for considering me for this trip. I had a great time with you and everyone else. I am grateful to having met you those 9 (approaching 10) years ago, and developing our friendship through our shared loves of volleyball, adventure, and unwarranted sass. I hope we can continue to grow closer as friends as you begin to depart on your next adventure, doing things that you seem born to do and can do so naturally well - to help and care for others. #HBJS28

ta ta kids

>_< I Feel Powerless When...

Interesting thought. And it's a good topic to talk about in light of some recent things that have been going on in the world. Maybe this will turn into a meaningful discussion, or maybe it'll just spiral out of control and I won't even end up answering the question. Regardless, let's get right to it.

I've been feeling weak as of late. It's been about 3 weeks since returning from Orlando for a huge volleyball tournament. Weeks prior to going, I did very well in making sure I was running or doing some type of workout every day. Worked on my arms and legs to make sure I was primed for the tournament. The event had it's ups and downs, with a satisfying enough finish. The day after finals I was my regular sore, like I'm used to. I enjoyed that type of pain. It lets me know that I worked hard and I deserved a rest. I could usually be back on the horse after a week or so. As I mentioned before, it's been 3 weeks. It's not to say that I don't think I could step on a court and play right now - but there are some things I'm feeling in my body that I haven't really felt before. It's troubling. I've known for a long time now that I wasn't the spry 19 year old player I was, nor am I the pure combination of strength and mind when I was 22 or 23. I've hit my glory days and I'll say this to most every player I know, I'm on my decline. It's easy to admit to your teammates, but it's hard to admit to yourself.

I feel powerless when my body says no to the things I used to be able to do. It's infuriating. Perhaps it's the lifestyle I live catching up to me. No, I'm not a cross country runner, I'm not a paid athlete. I'm the type of guy who checks himself in front of the mirror and says, "wow I'm getting fat, let's work to get back to the shape I was when I looked in my mirror and said, 'I'm happy where you are.'" (Side note: that quote within a quote was a formatting nightmare). Anyway, the dream is to be able to see some abs and get rid of those pesky love handles, but good god damn I love food way too much. When you're raised by a culture that embraces food so much that there's a meal dedicated to just throwing shit on a table and eating with your hands? ... how can you not.

Look at it. Hows that blood pressure?

But yes. I feel powerless. Knowing that I can't really weight bear on my left knee. Knowing that every time I go to jump, it was never, and is never going to be, as high that it once was. A vivid memory I have when I was 19 was when I went to attack a ball, I could see everyone on the other side of the court - and I cranked in on the 10-11 foot line, center court. Fast forward to 23-24 yrs old I remember the same feeling, but ONLY because a block was dropped. And now, at 26-27 - I'm lucky if I can see holes anywhere in the opposing teams defense (but they're there). Maybe I'm just having a midlife crisis for those who played a sport. Maybe I'll have another resurgence of energy and skill. There was a point in time where I wasn't taking pain killers to play in my 22-24 years. Those were the days.

I feel powerless knowing that my life is not necessarily controlled by me. I can only do a small part to know that I'm not going to step in front of traffic, or jump of a cliff. If someone, someday, somewhere, decides that it's my turn to die - I'm powerless. 49 people never got to choose. A musician never got to choose. It's insulting. We, as arguably the smartest beings on this planet, have the power to choose. But at the same time there is so much about us that we cannot control. I will feel powerless when I take a trip later this week, knowing that I'll enter the same environment where 49 people never got to choose. I will feel powerless knowing that someone else's choice to execute impedes my choice to live. Life is truly unfair.

And don't even get my started on those presidential hopefuls. If you think we're powerless now - then stay tuned.

ta ta kids.