>_< Let's Go to Mars

Seriously. Just you and me and our big 'ol neighbor in the night sky that's not the moon or Venus. I hear it's a nice place. Average surface temperature is about 210 Kelvin (that's about -63°C or -81.4°F for you snooty Americans). Gives us a lot of opportunities to cuddle. Since its tilt mirrors the Earths a little bit, then we know that there are going to be some seasons. So we can look forward to warmer temperatures, like a scorching hot -5°C (23°F you snooty American). A year over there is about 2 years here on Earth. So we can definitely spend some quality time together. Vacation spots? Mars has the highest known mountain in our solar system. We can go see it every year! Mars seems like the next best thing to our earth. It's gonna take us 7 months to get there so we're gonna need to bring our best road trip music. We'll prove to the world that there are martians out there, and it's going to be us.

Pictured: Paradise.

I mean just look at all the color. The reds and browns. It's like earth without the greens and blues. And really those colors were just so overrated. Rocks are fun. We can use them to see how far we can throw them, we can do that for years, I guarantee it wouldn't get old. Oh there's one more thing: we'd probably have to live in a dome or something. So what you saw above is probably going to be our view. Scenic, I know. It'd get better at night, with the two moons and all. Also, The atmosphere there is mostly carbon dioxide, so it's best we stay indoors... the indoors we built for ourselves. We'll be the surface pimple on the face of Mars, and you can be damn sure we'll never get popped.

It was either me or you, and I know it wasn't you.

Now that I think about it, we're probably going to have to bring our closest friends, a few doctors and scientists. Actually, we should bring about 1000 upstanding citizens too. It's nice to have people. I get that we we're planning to have this trip just you and me, but let's be honest... we can't take care of ourselves, and we certainly aren't smart enough to sustain anything. Also you can get kind of boring and I could use a fresh face every now and then. If everything goes right, then our little hoard of people will grow to many hoards of people and before you know it, we'll have over populated our precious little people pimple and life will cease to exist on Mars again. People at home will hear about the tragedy and begin to tell tales of our existence to their offspring at which point after centuries of grieving, we'll have the technology in sustainability to try the task again that gives us the balls so we can start all over. Just you and me and our big 'ol neighbor in the night sky that's not the moon or Venus. Seriously.