>_< Moving In or Moving On?

If there is one thing I haven't done in thig blog yet, its some relationship advice. To be fair, I haven't read the posts on love and jealousy in a little while so I'm not entirely sure on the previous statement. I know I'm definately not one to give relationship advice... or maybe I am and I just don't have a lot of confidence in the matter. I've had my fair share of terrible relationships, and theres always been some split decisions when it comes to a couple decides to move in together. I've heard stories of those who never lived together until they were married, and recently a story of moving on together after 2 days. That couple, by the way, was married for 15 years... but are now divorced. So take that how you will. Guess I'm lucky that I found two pennies in my pocket. Guess I'll throw them in...

It's going to be around that time (give or take 3-5 years) when I finally decide to move in with an SO. To me, I believe that moving in together is actually the step before an engagement. Some might think you don't have to, although I believe that you have to have an idea of what the person you may potentially be spending the rest of your life with is like when you two are living in the same room. Wanna spice it up even more? Get a pet. I had the opportunity to live with 2 friend-girls of mine my sophomore year in college. They were great people, and fun to be around. What's the worse that could happen? OHMYGODITWASONEOFTHEWORSTEXPERIENCESINMYLIFE. You're wondering why I excluded spaces. Humour me and say that whole mumbo gumbo without the spaces. That's how I said it. You're welcome, but moving on... (see what I did there?) I started to see a side of them I hadn't seen before. One was extremely bossy, and the other somewhat of a complete slob, and kind of lazy. The summer prioir it seemed like it would be ok, but as the year went on it started to get atrocious. Don't get me wrong, the way the girls ran the apartment wasn't generally offputting. It just didn't mesh well with the typical college man life style. I don't want to be assigned to clean something. I'll clean it when its dirty, and if it bothers me. I won't wash your dishes. Wash your own. To avoid cluttler in the fridge, we can split necessities: milk, eggs, etc. I guess. I feel like those are pretty general rules to live by, and of course always negotiable. That was one of the main problems in the house, nothing was ever negotiated, it was just told. If I wanted t oget told what to do, I wouldn't have decided to dorm.

I'm getting a little off topic/irate here so let's just continue to analyze the whole moving in part. As stated earlier (and you're wlecome to disagree), moving in with your SO is a crucial step in building a relationship. You ARE eventually going to be living with them so moving in, I feel, is the best way to get to know your SO on a different level. You could be in a relationship for years, but when you move in with someone you might as well cut that number in half. When it comes right down to it, when you two are under the same roof for a prolonged amount of time... with responsibilities like bills, groceries, cooking, etc. to take care of... you might see the worst in each other. That's the best thing about it though, assuming that all parties are super happy together, seeing this side of them is probably the best thing... it's just another thing you'll eventually learn to love. Buff out all the rest of the kinks, fix your remaining problems and really take the whole moving in thing seriously. Even still, if you find that its something you can't handle, then you may want to rethink the relationship. Like I said though, by the time you even decide you want to move in together, I assume that you've already seen the best and worse of each other and can work through an endless amount of hard times. For example, follow the four options whenever styles conflict: my way, your way, our way, or both ways. Need a sample situation? Suppose your impoverished childhood taught you to reuse aluminum foil, while your mate's family just threw it away. If you and your partner are pinching pennies, you may decide that reusing is a fabulous idea (your way). If you become prosperous, you may decide to pitch your used foil (his way). If this feels wasteful, you could adopt a new custom by recycling (our way). Or you can simply agree to disagree, giving him permission to toss used bits of foil while you treasure them like the Dead Sea Scrolls (both ways). Remember that a relationship is always growing. Good luck to all of you!

Of course every rule has its exceptions. You may not ever live with each other before getting married. Let's face it though, you can't raise a family under two different rooves. You're GOING to live with each other eventually, get some practice in. On the other spectrum, you can meet and know someone for a week and ndecide to move in. Different for everybody. Those who are fated for these kinds of things should consider themselves lucky. So what is a good timeframe to make this decision? My opinion? Finish your education first, maintain a full time job, then be in a stable relationship for 2-5 years. 5 years might really be pushing it though, but I would want to cover a lot of special cases. Also, I listed the things prior to the suggested date becasue you could've started going out in 6th grade... don't move in with him/her when you're junior in high school, even if it's been 5 years.

Lastly, you have to remember these are just suggestions. If you have the feeling in your gut that it could work, by all means make the leap. If you don't find it necessary to see what living together is like, then skip it. If you do decide to move in, it sure as hell is gonna be a lot of fun for the first couple months. Be prepared when things start to settle down and get monotontous. Becasue it's a lot of working moving out and fighting about it. What do you do then? U-HAUL ass. (OMG best pun evar).

ta ta kids