>_< And Grow Up I Did... Sort Of.

There comes a time, and trust me there will be a time, where eventually you'll have to start throwing bits and pieces of your chilhood away or at the very least tuck them away in the back of your mind for a good amount of time. I for one think I am approaching, if not already, that age. It's been awhile since I've posted something on this blog and I find it both childish and somewhat grown up to be able to talk about certain issues such as these openly and to a general public of who knows how many. But the topic today is growing up, how it all relates to myself, and everyone else. So lets ask the question: What does it mean to grow up?

Of course you can approach this question in many different ways. Mentally speaking, growing up means you become fully aware of your possibilities, limits, resources, goals, your situation in comparison to others, and your responsibilities. Biologically, growing up may refer to the time when puberty has finally done its job, and the "growing" itself will probably stop. This means, no more checking if you grew a couple inches on the doorframe, no more replacement teeth from the tooth fairy, and so on. Females tend to reach this age at 18 - as they begin earlier than males. Males will reach this age typically at age 21. Theres a whole slew of details and facts about this topic and as much as I would LOVE to lecture you all, htis isn't what this blog is supposed to do. So let's get interesting... well, more interesting. I guess.

Socially speaking, growing up could refer to having a full time job. Living on your own and chasing that American dream. Not having to rely on anyone else but the paycheck salary you earn bi-weekly. (See what I did there?) Now, where I am currently at - and this is where my opinion of being "grown up" changes - is full time job. I'm not living on my own (though I could if I wanted to), nor am I chasing that American dream. Most importantly I'm not relying on just myself. I believe that being grown up, one accepts the fact that sometimes everyone needs help and therefore aren't afraid to ask for it, and also receive it. Yes, I do earn my keep, but I'm proud to admit that I'm still living with my parents, eating my moms food, and still more or less being a kid. Technically I'm just a kid with money. (BTW deja vu just now for some reason) ANYWAY. Though I'm not a fully realised grown up, I feel like the extra step I'm missing is earning and maintaing a salary, which would require a better degree in my situation. But even still, I wouldn't be too ashamed going back under the roof my parents practically built for my sister and I. It's home. It's where I could see myself for a really long time. It's safe. Society has it figured out that if you're 30-40ish years old you should have "flown the coop" by now and I feel that I only agree if you've got a family to take care of. But if you're working or unemployed and you aren't really involved with anyone then by all means take the free housing. This is kind of where my opinion and society's opinion starts blending.

In order to seem grown up to other people, because of what society has done to us, one must be stable by his/herself. That's why I mentioned earlier that it isn't at all deterimental to be living with your parents as long as certain conditions are met, especially if you aren't looking to settle down. Whether or not this is fact, mates will seek other mates that show independence and stability. The thought of being involved with someone who hasn't left the parents house isn't really ideal. So if you relaly want to show someone you can settle down and start a family, please show that you can do it yourself first.

Another thing I want to touch up on is growing up on a mature level. Now this is something that worries and irks me. This generational and technological shift has made it exponentially harder to mature. I don't want to sound like my parents at all but BACK IN MY DAY we didn't have all these fancy things we do today. Sure there were video games and early computers but I worry that the technology today will cause our youth to take a much longer time to "grow up." Statistics show that about a decade ago, the average person living by his/herself was 18-21 years old. This means that straight out of college or even in college you should have been living by yourself already. Nowadays I believe the numbers are close to 25-30 years old. Whether or not this has to do with technology or the economy, the numbers are a bit worrysome. I know that this whole idea is everywhere right now, but I need to take a brief aside for a second.

A couple days prior to this post, my mother and I were talking about the new hires she had at work, and how they were doing such a terrible job. The key point here is that they weren't working independently and therefore asking a plethora of questions in order to get the job done. Now I understand that with nursing, it doesn't hurt to double check with the seniors to see if what your doing is right. The big picture here is that presently, new employees in the field have absrobed less from their education than ever before. Even I am somewhat guilty to that statement. Taking my mom's new hires for example. Yes, there are some procedures that asking questions or verifying methods is a good thing to do. But if you need to ask how to check blood pressure, or how to draw blood, STRAIGHT out of nursing school? You didn't pay enough attention and you should probably go back to school. As an employee, you need to be able to take pride in your knowledge (for which you are probably in debt for) and be more independent in the workplace to succeed. Aside over.

And sadly that brief aside was enough to forget the point I was making before. But let's continue on anyway as this is getting to be a little winded. Though I don't consider myself a "grown up" just yet, I can hold my chin up and say I'm "grown." Because I still watch cartoons, I still play video games, and very much so I'm still a kid. And until the morning comes and I don't want to watch Spongebob, I'll put on a suit and head to work.

In conclusion: Grow up when you need to. But don't take too long or society will bite you in the butt.

>_< My Father

I love you. No more than my mom, and no less either. I love you two equally. Happy Birthday to you, on your magical 50th. You work very hard to support this family, and never (well... almost never) have I seen you live your life with a frown on your face. You are always smiling and you are always brightening up everyone's day with you can-do happy attitude and that includes me also. You can sometimes be embarrassing, but really its just another job. Taking care of two kids isn't easy, and while sis had mom to learn from... I had you. You've taught me so much, and really I am who I am because of you... and I want to thank you for giving me the knowledge to be a man. I will always and forever live my life to be just like you, an all around happy person, and to love my family as much as you do. What I admire about you the most is that you never ask for anything in return. I envy you... it's a good envy. But again save the feelings for xanga. Let's talk fathers.

As a son, I feel that fathers have the potential to be a teeny tiny more important than mothers. A point I was getting across in my mothers post how mothers are the first introduction to women in the world, fathers are basically the first male figure in the world. To a young female, it may not be the most important thing, but for a young male it can be very important. Perhaps this post may get a little bias after this sentence. Fathers teach their sons how to be a man. How to look, talk, and act like a man. For many youngsters nowadays... a sons first role model should definitely be their dad (unless of course he's a deadbeat loser etc etc.... the world and life itself comes with many exceptions). But you see it in tv, movies, and even commercials. Fathers and their sons have this kind of unexplainable, unconditional bond that allows them to laugh when someone gets hurt, or make make weird sounds with various parts of their body. Fact is, one could really argue that any man today could directly be a shadow of what their fathers were like when they were young (with of course the exceptions).

Fathers will teach their sons how to shave, picking up and the treatment of women, independence, power, money, cars, and all these cliche things. Sure you can always get that information from the internet or some class... but none of that knowledge matters without a father... someone who knows exactly firsthand, and someone who'll gladly pass down the knowledge he's gained to you.

I wouldn't know exactly what a father may mean to a daughter... but it would probably touch bases around the areas of protection. A good father would definitely be a great hiding spot when your older brothers starts picking on you. Fathers from the female perspective (at least the good ones) will do their best to protect the ladies of their life. Which mens to a daughter, the father is a symbol of protection, power, and authority... at least at the beginning stages of life. A father can be tough when he needs to, and playful also. A father will never let his daughter see him cry, no matter how painful the hurt can be. (guess that goes for sons also)

In conclusion: being a son, I feel a father has a bigger impact on my life than a mother. But not that big. I love you Dad, happy 50th.

>_< Dear Mom,

I love you. First and foremost I want to you to know I love you. Sometimes it may not seem like it, but I NEED you to know that I love you. You've done everything for me and given everything to me and I am so proud and blessed to have such a hardworking mom like you. YOU, Mom, are the definition of MOM. You (and dad of course - but he'll get a letter in the future I'm sure) are the biggest part of the reason why I am who I am today. This letter could go on, but this is an informative blog... save the feeling for xanga. Let's talk about moms.

Mother, by definition (I took the 9th one cuz all the others were a tad droll) is something or someone that gives rise to or exercises protecting care over something else; origin or source. What strikes me as interesting is that when these "cared for" objects become fully capable to care for themselves, the roles seem to reverse. I'm at the time of my life now that taking care of my mom as "payback" for all that she's given me is something I should probably start to consider. It's tough because this amount of "payback" that should be given is infinite. Mom's do what they do because they are moms. They cook, clean, love, work, and care for as long as they can - and eventually they're going to need our help too.

Psychologically, Mom's have an incredible impact to they way we think. If you disregard the OBGYN that delivered you, or the doctors around, your mother is probably going to be the first person - and most importantly WOMAN - that you're going to be spending a whole lot of time with. She will be your first interaction (at least for guys) of the opposite gender. She will introduce you so a different realm of human thought. And as you grow older, perhaps even more that you even wanted to know. Either way, mom's are responsible for an inconceivable amount of knowledge. For girls, how to be a woman and for guys, how a woman acts. It goes without saying that a mom can be a pretty important part of your life... and if you are unfortunate to be missing this figure in your life... find someone.

Perhaps I will expand on this thought another time. I only really got the thought of writing a blog becasue of a recent converasation I had with my own mother. Either way..

In Conclusion. Moms - they're important. and i love mine. A lot.

ta ta kids

>_< Revisiting September 11

What were you doing when you first heard about the 9/11 terrorist attacks? For me, it was a long time ago. Hard to believe how much exactly, but it has been now a little over a 8 years. 8 long years have gone buy (that's pretty much two different schools - middle school to high school or elementary school to middle school... its long) and if you forgive my belated post then I'd enjoy sharing with the scarce number of readers I have what exactly I was doing when during the September 11th attack.

A nice day I recall. The warmth of summer still radiating through the air, and the subtle breeze of fall dancing its way through the medium. Sitting in my algebra class in 7th grade when you entered the room i was over to the left, back when desks were clustered into 5's so you were always sitting by your friends. This is where it gets a little blurry. I remember my teacher, Mrs. Dye informing us that something bad has happened and I didn't quite understand what it was.

I ran out after school, I believe algebra was my last class, and there my mom was waiting to pick me up. When I got into the car, the radio was on Z100 playing recordings of people who witnessed the attack. I asked my mother what was going on and she said the World Trade Center was attacked. I wasn't familiar with the United States then, she could've EASILY said the Twin Towers. Anyway, being the curios boy I was I asked my mother for more details. Truthfully though I wasn't paying attention, I just didn't want it to seem like i didn't care.

When I got home, my mother immediately turned on the TV, where literally almost EVERY STATION was covering the attack. And then I saw the images. I didn't where the twin towers were... but they were on my TV, on fire, smoke, and they finally collapsed, right there in front of my face. And this is where it may get a little un-patriotic.

I didn't care. Don't get me wrong, it was a tragic accident and I send my condolences to everyone who was affected by that attack. I was not one of those people. I didn't know anyone near there, anyone who worked there, but plenty of people who witnessed it. Point is, I didn't understand... and so I didn't care.

The next school day people came in with stories about how there families were all affected by the attack. Everyone felt remorse for one another. I had no story. I felt so left out. The way the situation played out, it made it seem like I had no remorse for the victims. But I was still young-ish and I was still fairly new to the country and it's society. About 7 years I've been there but I haven't done much traveling or studying about the major buildings in New York. I was only aware of the towns around me, maybe as far down to Atlantic City.

Now I understand. September 11, 2001 was a terrible day for a lot of people. And I want everyone who finishes reading this post to give a moment of silence to everyone involved on the attack. Hopefully by now their wounds are healed, or at least doing a lot better than before.

ta ta kids

>_< The Blind Mind

A question for the ages. It's been going around for as long as I can recall, and it's time to settle this matter by making an approach myself... and of course doing a little research. Let's delve into the mind of a human that is blind. Of course I am no expert myself but some information tossed your way is better than nothing at all, yes?

Blindness is a condition involving the absence of visual perception due to neurological of physiological circumstances. Some people are blind from birth, some lose their sight as a child, and others lose their site as they grow old. For the sake of simplicity, I will only be covering TOTAL BLINDESS, in which the human in question has no perception of light. Yes, many people are partially blind... but that's a whole different realm. You can become blind in many different ways: chemical imbalance, poisoning, physical harm, genetic defects, etc. If you really want an idea of blindness i suppose you can close your eyes real tight and put your hand over them. You know what it's like to see darkness all the time.

I digress. Back to the question in question. If persay a child is born blind, how does the whole dreaming come into play? What do they see? What can they dream about?

It turns out my guess and the actual facts are right. Humans dream based on experiences and things they have seen and felt with all five senses. So when one get's taken away, dreams have no choice but to work with what they've got. When a person who has been blind all their life goes to sleep and dreams, he/she will only have auditory dreams. That's exactly right, they dream in sound. Kind of like listening to a radio when you fall asleep. Or when you fall asleep in class but you still manage to pay attention. No? Just me? Ok then.

OH BUT WHAT ABOUT THOSE WHO LOSE THEIR SIGHT as they live life? The brain extracts dreams, again, based on experience by the senses. Chances are, if a person who lost their sight at an early stage in life, they could only dream of what they could see before losing their vision.

When asked this question to a person who has been blind since a young age:

"Yes, blind people do dream. What they see in their dreams depends on how much they could ever see. If someone has been totally blind since birth, they only have auditory dreams. If someone such as I, has had a measure of sight, then that person dreams with that measure of sight. I still dream as though I can see, colors included. For people I've met since, their faces are just blurs or how I imagine they look. To me, someone like my mother looks forever 30. "

In Conclusion: suffice it to say, blind people do dream. They dream based on what they've seen, heard, felt, smelled, tasted. Though no one will ever really know i suppose... i mean it's not like blind people don't have an imagination right?

ta ta kids